Friday, 23rd June, 2017

DU introduces diploma in Yadavization to boost the employability of graduates in Uttar Pradesh

03, Aug 2014 By Awadhi 66A

Continuing the streak of path-breaking reforms, Vice Chancellor of Delhi University Herr doktor Dinesh Singh announced the launch of a new program aimed to improve the employability of varsity fresh graduates.

Herr Fuhrer Dr. Singh arrived at the arts faculty atop a dazzlingly decorated royal Elephant to address the press gathering and to check upon his subjects commonly known as Delhi University Teacher’s association.

Akhilesh Yadav
“That’s great”

Herr Doktor outlining the program which has been named ‘Diploma in Yadavization’ proclaimed that the program will help to fill the gap between book learning and practical knowledge. Doktor Singh further added that as we all have come to learn that surname Yadav possesses certain qualities that tremendously boost not only the employability of a graduate but also his speedy promotion in any job. The government of Uttar Pradesh is the first one to realize the potential of Yadav surnames and seems to have capitalized on that knowledge. At a time when UP is grappling with skyrocketing crime rates, 70% of Police stations have Yadav inspectors. That is an example of kind of faith the wise and just UP government seems to have on Yadav.

“In order to boost the job prospects of our fresh graduates we have introduced this new program which will help students to be more Yadav and get lucrative jobs in Uttar Pradesh. We are also in talks with UP government to establish a chair in Delhi University for higher learning in Yadavization.” Doktor Singh further commented also adding that, “This has no parallel in education history of any country.”

Noted social theorist Ashish Nandy commented that the rise of Yadav community is indeed an enigma and should be simulated in other parts of the country as well. Why should rest of India be deprived of the hard working intelligentsia that seems to be people with Yadav surnames?

Meanwhile, SP leader Netaji, speaking on behalf of the UP government, wholeheartedly welcomed the new initiative of Delhi university and praised DU-VC for his vision and dedication towards his students. Netaji commented that history teaches us that even in the past Yadavs were at the pinnacle of political and economic strata. Sri Krishna who was also an Yadav even took the noble step of leaving his motherland and settling in a far-off land just to teach the barbaric people of that state what it takes to be Yadav. His sacrifices bore fruit and now Narendra Modi takes the credit for the development that obviously is work of a Yadav.

When pointed out that Krishna left UP because of thugs and goons so rampant in UP (Kind of like modern day UP), Netaji shot back, “Ofcourse that’s what communal forces want you to believe.”