Saturday, 23rd September, 2017

Dramatic solution to avoid parliament disruptions proposed

14, Feb 2014 By Lord'sMaster

The government has come up with a creative and mind-boggling idea to keep the parliament sessions on track. The Drastic Session Hour Overseeing Overhauling Managing all-party committee (“DiSHOOM”) was formed and asked to give recommendations within a day after the Parliament saw yet another unprecedented clashes today. FakingNews got exclusive interviews with the member of this DiSHOOM committee to get the sensational updates.

Parliament
Wrestling arena

The first joint chairman of DiSHOOM committee told this reporter that the revolutionary spark for the solution came from his grand mother’s idea to manage his kids back in their village.

“There would be a lot of work at the farms or at the home for which we wanted the kids to help. Neither would they help nor would they study, instead they used to quarrel with each other continuously. One day, my wife suggested that since they are very active in fighting, we should channelize their energy. So we started sending them to the local kusthi (Indian wrestling) trainer. They would spend an hour in the grounds wrestling each other and with other wrestlers. After this they used to be very fresh, active and willing to listen to what we ask them to do.”  The committee spoke to various members to get their feedback and preferences for this daily dose of positive exercise to channelize their energy.“What we have concluded is a first time attempt in the world”, told the second joint chairman of the committee. “Indeed, this is a first time attempt in the world”, emphasized the third joint chairman of the committee.

HERE ARE 10 BIG DEVELOPMENTS IN THIS STORY:

  1. It is decided to allot a special hour every day while in session in the parliament for a WWE style wrestling competition
  2. The well of the house will be cleared and used for this purpose. There was an option to build a new stadium for this next to the Parliament. But the committee was afraid that the Delhi CM might raise a preemptive complaint about corruption in the building of the stadium, which would only result in the delay of implementing the recommendations. Besides, the well of the house is already being used frequently for such purposes.
  3. IPL style teams will be created and coaches will be recruited
  4. Coaches will be chosen from the WWE experts, based on how similar their ‘wrestling’ styles to what the parliament witnesses during clashes like that of today.
  5. The DiSHOOM committee will be traveling to the USA for a tour meeting the possible candidates
  6. Popular names to come up were: Big Show, Rock, The Great Khali, Batista, Undertaker. There is a heavy competition for The Great Khali as the opposition do not want any foreigner to guide them in the Parliament.
  7. These competitions will telecast during the WWE shows which will result in good revenues, which will in turn boost foreign investment.
  8. The committee is still pondering if the teams could be a mix of different parties to which will result in understanding and cooperation between the parties. This idea came up after some members complained that this whole idea seems nonsense and does not have a positive outcome.
  9. As a stunning twist on relevance to participation and election process, the points system is related to votes. Since the teams will be composed of multiple parties, the unity of the team in getting victories will result in each member getting a bumper of 5000 votes in the coming election. The fair play award will be a bumper of 50000 votes to each team member.
  10. The BCCI has already taken over the organizing of these competitions. They have rejected the use of DRS as it is not yet an evolved and fool-proof technology.