Saturday, 17th March, 2018

Director to name his next films as 'Theater','Super Hit', 'Blockbuster' to avoid flop and criticism

09, Feb 2013 By manithan

Empty Theater

Jam-packed Beach

South India saw its great filmmaker’s movie Kadal failing disastrously at the box office last week. There were reports that the theaters in which this movie was screened, was almost empty.

In another incident from Chennai, Police and Government were confused over why people thronged the beach in the past one week. Intelligence heads of the state were confused over this recent happenings because people here swarm to the beach only when a Tsunami warning is issued and that there was no such warning.

To investigate these two separate incidents, our Chennai reporter Jacob contacted the theater officials. One of them said, “Despite the heavy advertising, good reviews and chartbuster songs, we are totally confused on why none of the people came to theater.”

Next Jacob landed on the beach. Since people were busy watching the sea, he contacted a boy who sells Chana masala. “Sir, we are totally confused. Previously , lovers used to come here and those misers open their mouth for everything else other than eating my Chana,” the boy said, and then he grinned and added, “Anyway, my Chana sales have sky-rocketed now.”

Jacob had then intercepted a person who was bargaining for the Chana from the boy and asked about their sudden arrival to the beach. His reply was startling, “Actually, when I opened my Facebook, my friends said that the Kadal is awesome and breezy. For your info, Kadal is the Tamil equivalent for Sea . So, we took our bikes and came to watch the sea here. As they said, the sea is breezy and awesome.”

When Jacob was preparing for the live telecast, a couple nearly ran over Jacob. The guy was fuming with anger, “Fools, they have come to see the Sea, reading the reviews that Kadal is awesome. We used to spend whole day in this beach cuddling. Now we will be going to the theaters playing Kadal to have our own privacy.”

Our newspaper is the first to uncover that there is a link between these two incidents. People have mistaken Kadal as Sea and have paraded to the beaches to watch it, instead of turning up at the theaters. Meanwhile, we got news from sources all over India that there are gatherings in almost all streets where there was an occupant called David. They were said to be watching the daily routine of around thousands of David’s and was found clapping over how Davids spend their day from brushing their teeth to snoring in the night.

When we contacted the film fraternity for an update on this furor, one of the directors spoke to us, “Based on the current trend, we can justify that title of film can make a movie flop. So, I have registered film titles such as ‘Theater’, ‘Super Hit’, ‘Blockbuster’ and ‘Awesome’. Now, when a film-goer is asked about where he went, you will get reply as Theater. So, you will also go to my movie, Theater. And add to it, people would tweet that they saw Super Hit movie, Awesome movie, etc. When critics write, they will say that the Theater is bad and so people will go to another theater to watch my movie. So, the final outcome will be that my movie runs houseful, even when it has no story.”