Tuesday, 21st November, 2017

Delhi Government to create several mini jams to avoid major traffic jams

05, Aug 2013 By Vaibhav Anand

In a bid to avoid arterial roads from getting gridlocked during monsoons, the Delhi government has decided to preempt major traffic jams by bringing minor traffic jams literally to your doorstep.

Speaking to this Faking News reporter, Ms. Sheila Dikshit said, “Yes, it’s true. There are too many traffic jams during monsoon rains and I end up missing my spa appointments, because the roads are so badly gridlocked that the police cannot even block traffic for VIP movement.”

The move will see traffic police putting up huge barricades on smaller connecting roads, service roads, streets leading to houses & colonies, etc. to create minor traffic jams on non arterial roads. As per Ms. Dikshit, “We lucked upon the idea when during a particular bad spell of rains, potholes and water logging on colony roads and streets actually cleared up traffic on arterial roads.” However, she was quick to point out that the traffic situation in the city was not her responsibility (similar to women’s safety, the power situation or the state of roads) and it came under the realm of the Traffic Police who reported to the Mayor or the Lt. Governor or the Queen of England but “definitely not me.”

The project, per Ms. Dikshit, would be called “Rajeev Gandhi Traffic Jam Yojna”. When questioned on the logic of naming such a project after a Gandhi, she said, “Naming a project after Rajeev Gandhi makes it justifiable for crores of rupees to go down the drain. No one even raises a finger then; they think- scam hua to kya hua, naam mein hee Rajeev Gandhi hai.