Mumbai: In an incident that sparked anger amongst several peak hour train commuters, a person who was delayed by few seconds in getting off the Kalyan fast train at Ghatkopar station, was allowed to get off without a single people’s elbow* or ‘abhi Mulund me utro’ remark.
A committee comprising of heads of the 9.15am Dombivli fast group, 10.25 Karjat fast and 11.55 Ambernath fast has have been formed to look into the incident and submit a report.
What made the incident even more shocking was that it took place during peak hours. The only commuter amongst the nearly 15 others standing near the footboard who witnessed the incident – as others were absorbed in their mobile phones – told Faking News, “The train halted at Ghatkopar station around 5pm and after the ritual body massages, abuses and plane mein travel karna phir’s, the commuters at the platform had managed to squeeze themselves into the train. It was after everyone got in and the train was about to leave, that the surreal incident took place.”
“A commuter who was immersed in his mobile phone bent a bit and looked through the window. On realizing it was Ghatkopar, he made a dash towards the footboard and sheepishly uttered the words that have led to many a railway civil wars ‘utarna hain’,” the commuter said.
He added, “He then held his bag as a shield and pushed ahead hard expecting retaliation. What happened next was something he may not thought will happen in his lifetime unless he contracted Ebola. The crowd gave way and he found himself on the platform without any people’s elbow to his kidney, no tapli on his head, shirt still tucked in, hell not even a ‘so rahan tha kya abtak **#@&**.”
In fact, the elderly uncle who at such moments is given the responsibility of contorting his face to express his disgust with the errant commuter also seemed to be distracted staring at the sunset in some opium induced reverie.”
When the man got off, he realized he had witnessed something unusual. His own train travels were littered with the several stealthy tapli’s he had given to so many people who remembered to get off the train after people had got in. In fact, his family life had been saved by this habit, after he started giving vent to his office anger and frustation on hapless commuters by giving anonymous taplis and reached home relieved.
After things at home had gotten out of hands, he had also started giving taplis even while going to office.
Meanwhile in the train too there was a sense of collective guilt. No one spoke for a bit. They were seemed both shocked and angered. Finally an old man, speaking in the tenor of someone who has seen the end of the world approaching said, “That day is not far when people will act all civil and make lines to get into trains. They will no longer fight to get into empty trains.”
*What is People’s elbow:
Originating from World Wrestling Federation (WWF) wrestler Rock, Mumbai train travelers have modified it to use it to their own advantage. When they want to hit someone, all they do is pull out the elbow just a little and hold it in the path of the person rushing in or out. The other person is injured, the he cannot find out who did it as there is no physical change in the upper half of your body.