With a sting operation, we have successfully obtained contents of the book that PM Modi has authored for students, which will be released towards the end of this year. The book, we hear is being called My Experiments with Hindu Students.
Mere Pyaare Mitron, the moment you get your hands on this book, please take a pinch of Haldi and Kumkum and dip it in Gomutra and put a Tilak of this mixture on all four sides of the book.
Note to students:
- If you are menstruating, since you are impure, please do not touch the book until you are clean. Once you are clean, please take a dip in Ganga and administer the above ritual before opening the book.
- If you are not a Hindu, or a Hindu who has eaten beef before, please enroll as a Hindu first by emailing to Virat.firstname.lastname@example.org and follow the above rituals.
- ….. “
“Chapter 1 Brahman Seva Hi Madhav Seva:
Mitron, as per our Vedas “Brahman Seva Hi Madhav Seva”. If you want to excel at studies please take blessings from a brahman before you begin your academic year. As a token of respect, offer 2 packets of pure cow ghee, 10 packets of cow milk, 1 packet of cow urine and 10 cow dung cakes to the Brahman on the first Ekadasi of the academic year. The returns you will get from this will be 100 fold.
Note to students:
Please ensure, no non-Hindus are involved in rearing the cow, packing, transporting of the above offerings to the Brahman.
“Chapter 7 Yoga, not just for health:
Mere Nanhe Munhe Deshvaasiyon, we all know the importance that Yoga plays in keeping us healthy. Let me go beyond the health aspect and tell you how Yoga can play an important part in nation building.
We need to use yoga to identify who really are the patriots and nationalists and who are not. Please hold Yoga camps everyday and identify the group of people who are not participating(non-yogis). These will mostly be people who eat beef, non-Hindus, presstitutes, libtards, sickulars, Congis and off late, NDTV people.
In order to reduce their threat to the nation, please do any of the following: forcibly converting them to Hindusim(ghar wapsi), hitting them with stones until they do Yoga or if nothing works, gather a mob of 50 of the staunch Hindus from your class(preferably Sanghis) and make the non-yogis shree ram ke pyaare.
“Chapter 18 Instructions to teachers:
Mere Pyaare Bhai Beheno, as teachers its important for you to maintain the decorum and sanctity of the classroom so that true Hindu values can be taught to the students. Below are some of the instructions that you need to follow:
- Please ensure that the class room is cleansed with a mixture of cow urine and dung every morning to keep it clean from any pathogens.
- Using the above mixture will also ward off any evil spirits that can feed evil thoughts to students like eating beef.
- In case you are pregnant, please follow the rules issued by us already. Since you will be impure during your pregnancy, kindly make sure you drink a glass of gomutra every day and take a dip in Ganga every month(You will not be given paid leave for this purpose since having sex is your mistake).
The excerpts speak for themselves. The contents of the book sound very exciting and will probably make the dream of achieving the Hindu Rashtra more attainable. With inputs from Sting Team.
Disclaimer: No non-hindus were a part of the team that conducted this operation or the team that drafted this article.