Sunday, 18th February, 2018

Confused & broke, India to move back with parents

29, Aug 2013 By Rohith DSouza

New Delhi – 67 years after moving out, India has asked to move back in with its parents England, temporarily until it can lower its fiscal deficit and improve its value.

After seeing a double digit growth only a few years back it is now neck deep in debt due to some poor decisions it had made in the recent years. India hopes that living with its parents will help it save some money and start afresh.

Here are the excerpts of a taped conversation between Queen Elizabeth and Manmohan Singh:

QE: If I recall correctly, you are the one who wanted to be all ‘free’ and ‘independent’. What was that you were shouting? Oh yes, Quit India, Quit India. So what happened now?

MMS: Come on Mommy, why do you have to make it so hard. Let bygones be bygones.

QE: I even tolerated you during your (civil) disobedience phase of life.

MMS: Yeah I was young and wild back then, Mommy.

QE: I don’t know. It’s not like you are 17 anymore. You are 67! for crying out loud.

MMS: Look, we can even live in the attic or the basement. I am anyways used to living all cramped up.

QE: And what about that crazy Food Security Bill you committed to, which promises to feed 80 Crore people? You very well knew you did not have the money and yet you went for it. I feel ashamed as a parent today. Is this what we taught you?.

MMS: (Makes a puppy face trying to look all cutsie cutsie). Mommy, but we are still a dynasty today.

QE: Awwww. Well I am proud of that fact for sure. Let me see what I can do. Your older sister America just moved out and she seems to be doing ok now. I might give you her room to stay in for a while.

MMS: Yes Mommy. Last I checked she is doing 68.80 times better.

India’s request to move back has been approved by its Parents subject to the following house rules:

1) No urinating on the house compound walls. 2) No crimes (sexual or otherwise) against other female housemates. 3) No fighting with neighbors neighbors. 4) Timely payment of rent & utilities. 5) No promises to be made if it cannot be kept. 6) Kohinoor continues to stay with Mommy unopposed. 7) Speak only Queen’s English.

Not fearing loss of self esteem, at 67, India has made the bold move of moving back with its parents. England awaits response from India on the terms for moving back while the world awaits the return of the prodigal child.