Thursday, 14th December, 2017

College dropout returns back to college as ban on Maggi and porn lifted

09, Aug 2015 By Shikhar Nilabh

Mumbai: An engineering student turned entrepreneur turned engineering student returned back to his college as the government unbanned Maggi and porn. He was difficult to be recognized initially as he walked inside the campus. He appeared weak physically and was immediately taken to a doctor. The medical reports were almost normal, as the blood having sufficient amount of iron, sodium and calcium but lacked lead. The doctors have said that this disease is incurable although the possibility of making medicine from Maggi ingredients is being explored in medical science.

“My lifelines are back! And I am back to my life”: Lakshman Dev

Talking to our reporters, one of his friends said, “we are so happy to have our friend Lakshman Dev back in the college. Life has been difficult upon him since the day Maggi was banned. He refused to eat for three continuous days. We managed to take him to mess after making him watch back to back episodes of Man vs Wild. But he lost all his hopes when porn websites were banned. We knew that one can survive for weeks without food but can live only few days without sleep. It appeared as if the government officials went through his browser history before banning 857 websites. He was very upset and tried watching Mahabharat episodes to get over porn. But he couldn’t take it longer when he found out that even Pandu got laid. That’s when he decided to drop out.”

Lakshman, as he entered in his hostel room, said, “I have always been fond of Maggi and porn, both since early childhood. While my friends used to complain how maggi takes more than two minutes to get ready, I would use the time to watch porn. Twice. I wanted to start a Facebook page like Foodporn where I can express my love for two most important things of my life. But my life changed the day Maggi was banned. I felt the pain of an African kid as my diet changed from egg Maggi and atta Maggi to Roti and egg. I survived without food for days doing nothing but reading ‘Stay hungry stay foolish’. That’s when I started developing knack for entrepreneurship. It was the life which became hard when porn was banned. I couldn’t reconcile with the fact that I would have to try my hands on something else. Nevertheless, I thank the government for making Maggi and porn available again. Being a chemical engineering student, I always knew that the lead amount in Maggi is safe enough as I myself performed a titration experiment on it and found it eatable”.

The administration was reluctant to accept his admittance in college but finally accepted after receiving a recommendation letter from Rahul Yadav. He has also been gifted an emergency kit with 1 TB hard disk and Maggi packets in case if he ever encounters a calamity.

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