Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Bharat Internet Bandh cause profits of 12,500 crore : CII

22, Sep 2012 By charsichaplin

According to industry body CII Bharat Internet Bandh, which was observed one day after Bharat Bandh might have added around 12,500 crore to the country’s GDP.

Hundreds of BJP workers on Friday attacked main offices of telecom operators throughout the country and asked them to shut down their servers. The figure has come out as a shock for the opposition parties.

Nitin Gadkari told Faking News, “With every bharath bandh we have been trying to match the losses caused by UPA’s latest scam. Disappointed with yesterday’s figures, we came out with the idea of Bharat Internet Bandh, with the main aim of hitting the IT companies as we realized that majority of IT professionals were working from home.”

IT professionals with processes in foreign countries welcomed the Bandh initially but before they could make any other plans, most of them were forced to go shopping with their wives or spend the day at home  performing ganpati puja.

“Thank God ! I am an Atheist,” said Contractor Ajit as he headed for a bar.

The business of theatres and bars soared on Wednesday to the point that even Raaz 3 was Houseful in most theatres throughout the major cities.

Karthik working as a Manager in an IT firm told Faking News, “I decided to go out for a movie, as now I couldn’t even pretend to work, but all the shows were houseful already.”

“That’s why I always keep a Google doodle loaded,” remarked a proud Senior Manager Anand Vibhor as he broke one of his previous records.

Ravi Teja, an employee of  Mahindra Satyam Hyderabad said, “Bharath Bandh was ok but you guys should come for Telangana March those guys do it Oppan Gangnam Style.”

The IT companies themselves haven’t reported much loss. Top Officials at Infosys said, “As 50% of our employees stay on bench and the 40 % belong to the managerial class, we haven’t lost substantial working hours. We’ll be calling the rest 10 % on Saturday anyways to cover up the losses  if any.”

The retailers have come out as the winners, after the huge losses they incurred yesterday, but only after Manmohan Singh who managed to have not even a single joke about him being published on the internet for 12 straight hours.