Monday, 25th September, 2017

Bhai to “drive” further surgical attacks: Indian DGMO

03, Oct 2016 By being_inhumane

Highly motivated by the success of recent surgical attacks, the Indian army has decided to pull out its most fatal weapon, Salman Khan, from its artillery for the next round of attacks on the terrorist camps.

Salman expressing his gratitude
Salman expressing his gratitude

Briefing the media with plans of Sallu-in-his-jeep operation for an onslaught on Pakistani terror camps, a confident Indian DGMO warned Pakistani officials beforehand, “History is witness [sic] that nothing on Indian soil is as deceptive and dangerous as Bhai loaded on his vehicle. We dare Pakistan to face the wrath of its most loved Bollywood star.”

Explaining the magnanimity of the operation, he added, “We have already vacated the residences around LoC, both on and off the pavements as a safety measure. Deer and other wildlife within a 50mile radius are also being cleared. The operation will be carried out during midnight, when the terrorists will be in their deepest sleep. Given his experience, we are pretty confident of the exercise to be an astounding success. No guns and no weapons, it will just be a jeep being driven all over the enemy camps. There will be no-ceasefire violation for anyone to point fingers at us. Pakistan will never ever be able to prove that it was Sallu who was driving the vehicle, gives us an added advantage in this open covert operation. We will be beating our neighbors in their own game.”

Fans all over the country started showering praises and prayers on the demi-god, some even demanding Bharat Ratna for the virgin Khan.

Bhai, while being human, took over to his twitter handle in revealing further details “Heading to Pakistan with my driver who will not ever be seen after the attack. Jai Ho!” he tweeted. His jailing mentor, Sanjay Dutt during a press release said he hoped the best for his friend and was confident that Salman will come out of the operation un-shackled.