Saturday, 24th June, 2017

Bania boy joins family business straight after completing Phd in mathematics

11, Nov 2013 By iamgreat

Bittoo Bania, a native of Bulandshahr is a first of his kind as he decided to join his family business soon after completing his Phd in mathematics from MIT.  Our interviewer Bakbak Chaurasiya interviewed  him  after his  return from US.

Matters a lot.
Matters a lot.

Bakbak :  So why did you do a Phd at the first place when you wanted to join you family business ?

Bittoo : First and foremost it is the bania upbringing I had in my childhood that has influenced all the decisions I have taken in life. My parents always taught me never leave anything which is  FREE. While I was growing up, my friends used to play with WWE cards whereas I used to be spending time with BATA coupons. Even my school teachers knew that I am destined for greater things in life because  I printed “paisa vasool” instead of  “hello world” in my first computer program. Since I was getting a full scholarship  at MIT, I would have been labelled as a fool in my community  if I missed that. I just decided to enroll into the programme even though I had no interest in Maths. Paisa jahaan, Interest wahaan.

Bakbak: So now that you are joining your family business, your Phd will be total waste in your day to day life

Bittoo : Boss, Bania doesn’t do anything which goes waste. I realized the big american dream, roamed around places, ate free pizzas  and got a chance to shake leg with the American chicks. I enjoyed my bachelor days to the fullest. Now I am back home and daughters of  rich businessman are dying to marry me, as I am Dr. Bittoo Bania from MIT. A beautiful girl and lots  of dahej is something we dream of. I will be having both of them.

Bakbak : But you had offers from very good Banks and analytic firms, you could have made millions of dollars there  also. Why did you choose your  home business ?

Bittoo : It is true that I got a very lucrative offer from Bank of America where I would’ve managed a team of 20 people. But frankly speaking I don’t like wearing business attire and talking formal all the time. I prefer managing my local factory workers Ram Lal, Chotu and getting things done by abusing every 10 minutes. Secondly, I don’t enjoy this culture of salary being credited directly to the bank account.  I always like getting paid in hard cash. The smell and taste of the kadka kadak  notes is unmatched and gives me a high.

Bakbak : What are the principles or ideologies on which you lead your life ?

Bittoo : I am a firm believer in BODMAS where mutliplication takes preference over addition. In a normal analytic firm, I would have slogged myself for years and would have just added some paltry amount each year, but in my family business I have seen my laborers doubling money each year as if they are part of some geometric progression.

Bakbak : Where do you see yourself 20 years down the line ?

Bittoo : I see myself swimming in the money just like Scrooge Mc Duck used to swim in Duck Tales

Bakbak :  Thanks Bittoo, that was an insightful interview. After listening to you I think I also need to rethink about my career goals

Bittoo : Yeah, Please do. William Somerset Maugham said  “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.”

Bakbak was blown away by Bittoo’s thinking, he touched his feet and left the room.