Thursday, 22nd February, 2018

Army plans to drop 'Gay Bombs' in marked areas of Uttar Pradesh to reduce violence against women

11, Jun 2014 By manithan

Delhi: The offices of Army Generals were abuzz with emergency meetings and files being shifted by nervous workers in the Army Headquarters today. While there were no official announcement of any war or operation, the mood in the Army HQ was one such.

While no one from the Army commented or replied to any of questions being posted by journalists for the past few days, the Defence ministry also seems to be mum about the sudden escalation of meetings held within closed rooms.

But, Faking News has got a leak from the inner circle of Army and we are proud to present that, ahead of our mainstream media competitors.

The Army has planned to drop Gay bombs in marked areas of Uttar Pradesh where rapes are becoming a daily occurence, in a clandestine operation titled “Operation Gayle”.

A Gay bomb, as we all know, is a non-lethal weapon, which when dropped can make men to get attracted to men and will not injure anyone like a conventional bomb. There were negotiations held in the past with American researchers and IIT intellectuals and with their assistance, around 100 bombs of such nature had been prepared in a confidential manner over the past few days. The Air Force personnels were conducting mock raids in barren grounds outside the city for conducting the Operation Gayle successfully.

There were also rumors of similar non-lethal ways  to be researched to let political leaders not speak rubbish when asked questions related to sexual violence.

One of the General, spoke on condition of anonymity, that, “The condition in Uttar Pradesh and other parts of India is worsening day by day. The Violence Against Women is really getting into my nerves. I too have two daughters and I’m scared to hell thinking of their future. So, I welcome this move by Army to drop Gay bombs in UP, which will reduce or annul the sexual violence against women going on rampant there.”

When asked about repercussions of this operation, he commented, “This will be a masterstroke from us. First, the Gay bombs will make lustful, horny men have no feeling for women. So, the women are totally saved. Second, the men will start approaching other men for sexual purpose, and this will be used to file FIR against them under IPC 377 and jail them. Our police force is better at arresting homosexuals than serial rapists. Third, the population of India will be reduced by this. Along with reduction in population, domestic violence will also be reduced. No media or intellectuals or activists will raise voice for men who will be attacked by these rapist men. This is a win-win situation for India from all sides.”

While these bombs will be dropped from air, to make it more effective, they have decided to blow these bombs in certain areas where men are swarming, like bars and porn movie theatres. For that mode of operation, Army is in talks with terrorist groups to get detailed maps of those areas in Uttar Pradesh.

Cricketer Chris Gayle has already distanced himself from this operation and said that this has nothing to do with his name. He also asserted that he is not homophobic and that he has always supported the LGBT community.