Tuesday, 12th December, 2017

All Porn Sites now to be re-routed to www.aastha.com - By orders of the Government

04, Aug 2015 By dashy

While most of you were busy getting “FriendZoned” over the weekend, the BJP Government has gone sneakily behind your backs and banned Porn. Though Modi is famous for his recent spate of bans, banning porn in the land of KamaSutra came as quite a surprise. Especially since, they didn’t even give Arnab Goswami a chance to scream and shout and ask for the #PM’s resignation. before it happened.

Ofcourse, this ban will not affect those in the Parliament as they will get special passwords for bypassing this ban. Or what else are they going to watch under the tables when (and if at all) the House gets into session? This has had a tremendous impact on the Youth of India, where Engineers have almost started to opt out of colleges.

What else can India expect from a bachelor Prime Minister?
What else can India expect from a bachelor Prime Minister?

“First they banned Maggi, now they have banned Porn, how exactly are we supposed to finish our Engineering??”, asked Mr. Shaker, the President of FOSLA (Frustrated One Sided Lovers Association) for Engineers. Even the IIN University has planned to drop its Human Anatomy courses which might be a big blow for its students.

When my drunk sources tried to contact the PMO, they were given a hush hush justification, by one of the close aides, “Why do people want to go to porn sites to watch someone else being screwed when they can see themselves being screwed on a daily basis?”

This however has had some pleasant results too. Mr. Bater was heard commenting that he just realized that he actually had a wife and that she looked quite pretty too. It has been further reported that the Government plans to re-route all the porn websites to www.aastha.com.

So, if you want to go to one of your favorite porn sites, you will be actually directed straight to the live feeds from Aastha Channel, and the only skin you will see might be from a bunch of topless Baba’s trying to screw you by selling you a “Putrajeevak Goli”. Skin and Screw ….. you shouldn’t be complaining!

Henceforth, the only action you will be seeing on internet would be some half naked Winky Baba, gyrating his tummy 360deg, in a rather non-erotic way. Ummm, unless that’s what gets you off.

A lot of people in India, on Monday were found going around with a dazed zombie look on their faces, constantly staring at their hands with a bemused expression. They probably realized that they have two hands and that they can actually be put to some other use too !!

Many people have actually found this porn ban to be a business opportunity. There have been rumors of people auctioning off their HDD collections of 700 GB for astronomical prices. And most of the bachelors (and bachelorettes) in India are furiously bidding for it.

Disclaimer: Auction starting at 3:15 pm, Monday and will continue till stock lasts. Visit www.bleepbleep.com to take part in the auction. Highest bidder gets a free hand lotion, tissues and Zandu Balm.