RSS (Rashtriya Rifle Sena) has welcomed the Ban on toilet paper, calling it a conspiracy by the westerners against Indians. RSS chief spoke exclusively to this reporter and said, “Gore (foreigners) want to introduce this invention of western culture by degrading indian culture by undermining the under-developed minds, un-realistically in the underground areas undisputably.” (Bloody Hell! what exactly this means – even their spokesperson forgot the Jumlas after he uttered then).
Amidst all these, our very own and beloved Khap Panchayat of Dagru Samaj that earlier said Chow-mein is the major reason of rape in India, created another analogy saying, “Due to the use of Toilet Papers, rapes are increasing in India…And if we want to stop cross-cultural rapes and marriages, we must appreciate the Ban on Toilet Paper.”
When this reporter approached a ruling govt. spokesperson, he revealed on condition of anonymity, “We have found very high content of abrasive agents in toilet papers and will be banning them. So this Ban will create a win-win situation by promoting culture and saving everyone’s Ass.”
Opposition has demanded a CBI level probe into this Ban and has said that the issue will be taken up in Parliament, since they can’t tolerate the ruling party trying to save their asses alone.
Apart from political Arenas, Bollywood celebs are very happy, so happy that they haven’t yet endorsed any toilet paper brand. One Ad of KRK was in post production, but is now believed to be off the shelf.