Saturday, 21st April, 2018

Accustomed to the stench, Mumbai techie couldn't poop for two days

24, Jul 2014 By metalheadshubh

While most of us have a pretty cliché morning habit of having warm water or a cup of coffee to have our bowels moving, though the pros quote sutta to work the best, a Mumbai techie developed a rather surprising and unique morning routine and suffered the consequences.

“When I moved to Mumbai few years back, I kept wondering where the stench was origination from. Locals seemed indifferent about it and reported nothing such. I used to check every 5 minutes if I pooped myself,” quoted the techie in a Facebook chat he did with us from his office. He consulted a few doctors and psychiatrists to have this issue resolved but no-one could apparently help him.

This issue would plague him for few more weeks until he started following Nirmal Baba. “One fine evening I was watching TV and I stumbled on this channel where the great Nirmal Baba was helping people. So I instantly booked a ticket to his next session. Upon reaching there I told Him the issue. I couldn’t believe his genius and the sorcery this man knew as he simplified a rather complex issue in just one sentence,” said the techie in a Twitter conversation he had with us from his office.

When reporter asked him what solution Nirmal Baba gave him, he said he had to go for a Tea break from his extremely busy Twitter and Facebook sessions. After waiting for an hour and a half he finally joined us back and what he told us left us in awe and shock.

“Babaji asked me if I eat Rajma (Kidney beans). I said, not very often. Then he suggested me to eat a lot of Rajma and Heeng golis (Asafoetida). On the first day it didn’t help me. But the following day I was farting like a pig.” Apparently now he was creating a similar stench and now he was carefree about the source of it. He later got so accustomed that he would daily open the window to smell the “fresh” air in the morning and that would get his bowels churning.

Everything was going smooth until few days back when during heavy rainfall and strong wind current the stench was blown away entirely when he opened the window that morning (sic). This created havoc in his daily routine and the poor guy couldn’t concentrate in his work. Fumed, the techie booked a case against BMC for not having enough litter on roads and open dustbins.

“When the government knew anything such could happen they should have not taken the trash away from the bins every week.” BMC, for a change, was rather apologetic and said they’ll suspend the responsible officer. BMC promised that cleaning operations will be stalled until the rainy season has passed so that strong winds can be fought with stronger stench.

Friends and family of the techie are in shock and disbelief after the whole fiasco, though reported recovery of the victim after wind had ease. Many people reacted to this whole case and candle marches were organized across the city.

One such protester said, “We can’t control nature… if anything such happens again, who’ll take the responsibility?” Government addressed the issue but the spokesperson made a rather controversial comment “The citizens are responsible for this issue more than the BMC. For past couple of months we have noticed that people are not stewing waste on roads, very few good citizens these days throw left over food and the plastic dishes, of course, on the beaches these days. How are we supposed to help the citizens if they don’t want to help themselves? Awareness comes at a price… you know what I mean,” he quoted.

This triggered a huge political debate and assembly was rocked with curse words and slurs from the opposition party. The assembly finally settled down when, as per protocol, they threw chairs and mics at each other.

Meanwhile, any serious action will be taken or not; that’s still up for debate.