Thursday, 17th August, 2017

Aadhaar Card to be made mandatory for Moksh

08, Aug 2017 By Pranav Sodhani

YAMLOK: In a recent turn of events, a software engineer was declined Moksh (Salvation) for not possessing an Aadhaar card. Malloc Nath, a man of culture by passion and a software engineer by lack of choice was shocked to learn that he has been denied Moskh on the grounds of not possessing an Aadhaar Card.

No Adhar Card: thinks a potential suicide committer
No Adhar Card: thinks a potential suicide committer

“We had a lot of Sanskaari (cultured) people from RSS this season possessing Aadhaar cards. Unfortunately, we will have to reject your application this time. We hope to see you soon after your next rebirth with an Aadhaar card”, read the mail received by Malloc after 3 months of waiting. Although such replies are not new for him, these are always unexpected.

Top officials said that the rule is applicable in all states with immediate effect except Assam. When Faking News contacted the concerned office, they responded by saying, “Last year, we gave Moksh to 1024 people from Assam with Aadhaar card. We only realized later that Assam did not even have Aadhaar card systems by then. All with Aadhaar cards were actually from Bangladesh. So, we have made an exemption this time. This has also helped us in segregating Bangladeshis, a difficult task otherwise, thanks to Mr. Tarun Gogoi.”

The Registrar General at Yamlok’s office sent an official notification yesterday telling that the use of Aadhaar Card has been made compulsory. The notice read, “Death tolls, like taxes, are on a all time high. Given that people get killed on footpaths too these days by driverless cars, tracking people has become an issue. Aadhaar card definitely comes to rescue for such issues.” “Our data also gets constantly stolen by these IITians. Even death is not a punishment for them because they anyway have no life.”, said a Yamdoot who was a manager in his earlier life.