A man aged 20 years was admitted to the hospital as he collapsed from shock at being offered a seat in the Delhi Metro. Doctors have since diagnosed him with the Privileged Victim Syndrome and say that this accident might have helped save his life. He would have probably lost his life if the disorder wasn’t treated soon.
The condition is highly prevalent in urban areas among upper-class young males. It causes patients to become insensitive to the plight of disadvantaged social groups and makes them angry at the ‘special treatment’ that others get but they are denied.
The patient spoke to us about his condition. “It is quite exhausting to be nice to everyone. This incident has helped me realise that I was going through the trauma of being denied the right to misbehave in my own country. Can you imagine having to struggle to get a good education? Can you imagine having to respect women when I don’t even think of them as human beings? Why am I being made to feel as if I’m not the second-most important person in the country? (I know who the most important person is, I’m not an entitled brat.)”
The Chief of Looting Helpless Citizens at Expensively Mediocre Hospital told this newspaper that the number of cases reported is increasing day by day. She advises citizens to watch out for the most common symptoms: having an exceptional sense of entitlement, renouncing any responsibility for their behaviour, and whining about social mechanisms to help marginalised groups.
However, there is a silver lining for the patients of this disease. The government has set up a toll-free help line to provide counselling to any people suffering from this disease. It has also been notified that these phone calls may be used for recruiting people who seem the most adept at gathering sympathy votes. Indeed, it looks like India will successfully pretend to be strong enough to rise to the challenge of combatting this disease.