Saturday, 18th November, 2017

What's going on between Chetan Bhagat and Harsha Bhogle?

04, Feb 2014 By Pankaj Jindal

New Delhi. This exclusive report brings to surface the shocking revelation of a small yet important cold war going on between two individuals of national importance.

For a country filled with Cricket enthusiasts, the post-Sachin era has not been as popular among the Cricket lovers as it used to be. These are dark times, and things seem to be getting worse with each new defeat the Indian Cricket team manages to get its hands dirty with.

One of the more popular fans we all have seen and heard from a numerous times, Harsha Bhogle, recently contacted The Faking Book Publishers and expressed his wish to begin work on a new book titled “The Losing Way” as a sequel to his debut book, “The Winning Way” to keep up with the changing times and to stay relevant to his audience.

According to Harsha, “I feel dejected and even cheated by the performance of our Cricket team in New Zealand. I have been such a loyal and faithful lover of Indian Cricket. After Sachin’s retirement my heart was ripped apart in half; but what our team is doing in New Zealand now is simply killing me over and over again and it just makes me want to shoot someone!”

Though he didn’t say any more, but if our trusted sources can actually be trusted, this anger is superficial and he is simply envious of Chetan Bhagat. CB and HB are both alumni of WIMWI, otherwise known as IIMA by the more wannabe-sophisticated junta and expanded as Which-Institute-of-Management-in-Western-India by the truly enlightened ones. This trusted source on the condition of anonymity told us, “The source of HB’s envy is the phenomenal success and fame CB has managed to garner by managing to publish a multitude of what he has managed to make the either overtly or covertly sentimental (over Bollywood movies), and easily impressed (by anyone with double consecutive Is in his/her educational degree) padhi likhi junta think of as elegant works of fiction.”

HB is finding it mighty difficult to gulp down in his commentator throat the fact that one of his juniors has been enjoying far more importance, respect, and monetary benefits than him. “It (the envy) must be because CB has a couple more Is in his portfolio of educational degrees than HB,” reported a source close to both the families. But our dedicated Faking Research Division, after its Mutually Inclusive and Collectively Incomplete Framework based non-extensive and completely in-comprehensive investigation which, by the way, is also considered as the most reliable investigation mechanism India has right now and is followed religiously by the CBI and the RAW for their own investigations, has made it crystal clear that the real reasons for HB’s jealousy are

a) the more than double fan following of CB on Twitter than HB, and

b) the official website CB enjoys while HB has to make do with espncricinfo pages.

Now that is an argument even Arnab Goswami can not refuse.

But, oh good people of India, do not despair for all is not lost yet. Because, whereas the HBs and the CBs of the world fight over such petty issues while pretending to stay peaceful, the Sadhus and Pundits of India continue to progress the work on looting the Nation while eternally chanting various permutations and combinations of Raga Namo, Arke Manu!