Last week, someone has stolen my underwear. I know this is disgusting to post such comments on social media but I can’t stop myself as this incident has hurt me to the core. I had kept my washed underwear in the balcony to dry out. How can I tell you the sweet memories that were attached to it. It was the last gift I received from my girlfriend Aafrin on my breakup with her.
So lovingly, she ordered it online for me from Flipkart’s big billion days sale saying she wanted me to wear fancy stuff. It was blood red in color and belonged to a limited edition, thanks to her good fashion taste. But oh my god, it’s gone now – my underwear. What I do without it. I want to cry. But, No! I won’t let this loss in my life go in vain. I’ll fight for my rights.
Delhi police, what were you doing? Sleeping? How can you be incapable of safeguarding an underwear of a common man? I think Kejriwal is right. He can serve us better than Modi as he keep saying our PM is always busy on foreign tours in the name of FDI. Had Delhi Police been under Kejriwal today, my underwear would probably be with me. Or maybe not!
No wait… oh my god!! Why didn’t I guess this before? Political conspiracy!! There has been a political conspiracy behind my underwear being stolen as it was a gift from my girlfriend who belongs to the minority class. With folded hands, I urge Mamta Di and Mulayam Sir to help me get justice because I know they are the people who are really concerned for minorities’ rights. Azam Sir, you excel at writing letters to the UN, no? Please write a letter to them for me and request them to intervene in the matter. After all it’s about safeguarding human rights of Minorities in India. It’s a new low for India. People’s Underwear are not safe here.
In fact, I want Nayantara Ji to help me even though I know she has returned her only Sahitya Akadmi Award few days back on Dadri Lynching issue. Nayantara Ji has responded to me: I assure you that many talented artists in India are always ready to help the victims belonging to a minority section. (I don’t know why they will help me but I don’t care! I just want my underwear back. And if not, I’ll leave no stone unturned in raising my voice till the PMO or the UN, agar Azam ji ka saath raha to..
These politicians might have been making use of me and my underwear, but a few media houses I found have been really interested in raising my voice, even more than I am interested. So much love and support, I can just die of diabetes. It started when I narrated my plight to Mr. Rajdeep. He immediately tweeted from his twitter account: #BringBackAfrinStolenUnderwear.
One channel followed “Mr Modi, the nation wants to know where the underwear is?” anchor shouted. Now there is a full-fledged campaign running on TV channels and Rajdeep my love, has even written an open letter to the PM seeking answers on my underwear. So heartening no? Many thanks to him. See.. a few politicians have contacted me to say “aap fikar na karein, hum apko 6 lakh ka muavza deyngey, apke parivar ke ek sadasya ko sarkari naukri aur apko ek ghar.” Wow my lost underwear bringing me fortune.
But guess who was the last to reach out to me? RaGa! He was so deeply apologetic to me as he learnt about my underwear very late. He must have been watching his favorite Chhota Bheem, how would he get to know?
How can I forget his kindness as he offered me his own underwear which he bought from Italy, US, Thailand and other countries. He even had a breakfast with me that morning. RaGa commented that why would Modi Government care for undergarments of Indian Citizens as Modi government is a Suit Boot ki Sarkar. He kept calling Modi name and repeated ‘Modi Ki Suit Boot Ki Sarkar’ till my ears started bleeding.
At last, to support this cause a group of politics, journalists & activists have announced #NoUnderwearTillJustice movement and they will not wear underwear till the proper justice is delivered. Now I am fully satisfied that there are so many good people in our country who help people unconditionally! I feel assured that I shall get justice someday and if there is no justice, I will have compensation money along with a government job & a home to live in.
RIP underwear, I still love you (feeling shattered). I know these good people will keep my underwear alive in people’s heart & mind at least for few days.
PS: The above theft took place in actual and rest of the visualization was written considering the ability of Indian Media, Politicians & Socialists. If Someone’s feelings are hurt then the writer does not care as he is extremely hurt himself and is recovering from the pain of losing his underwear.