Saturday, 23rd September, 2017

I am running for the post of PM of India

10, Jan 2014 By Fakerazzi

I am using this pious podium to announce my intentions to run for the post of the PM of India. Below is my game plan in brief.

I will first ensure below things

  1. I will run billboards behind all sand trucks, JCBs, Volvo buses, ore hauling overloaded trucks, rickety local buses etc.
  2. I will create a website where almost all Indians with income more than Rs 250 per day will be added as donor over the period of 45 days. An ethical hacker will be hired to get names from Aadhar/NPR/CEO websites.
  3. I will take funding from “People behind Preet bharara”. No one is more law abiding than them. It is incidental that this is staffed by former CIA people.
  4. All rivers of India will be interlinked. People of delhi will get daily ration of 7000 litre water per half day. All sewerage will also be interlinked and villagers will get free sewerage for their fields directly from delhi.
  5. Every grid will go through Delhi. The tax will be to provide free power to delhi.
  6. I will buy Toyota Fortuner to meet those going hanging on rickety jeeps on non existent roads.

I will do below before elections

  1. I will promise that All overloaded trucks will be allowed everywhere. No city entry timings. Sand trucks will be allowed to take sand from everywhere.
  2. I will promise that Osama, Obama, Modi, Sajjan kumar, Akhilesh yadav, Lalu, Jagan reddy etc will be prosecuted when we come to power.
  3. A candle vigil march will be organized every day in one of the metro cities.
  4. I will promise that An EVM will be installed in each home to get opinion on taking support from Sharad pawar, Jagan Reddy, Owaisis, Lovely Anand, Behan mayawati & many more non-rightist secular forces to make government.
  5. I will declare all registered political parties as my sworn enemies. I will take oath in the name of my grand grand children never to have any collaboration with them.
  6. I will meet all _secular_ preachers & religious leaders to canvass for change in the country.

We will do below things post elections once I become PM

  1. Arunachal/Ladakh/Sikkim will be gifted to china. TN will be gifted to SL. Kutch/Khalistan/Kashmir/Telangana will be gifted to Pakistan. Buxar/dantewada/warangal/purulia/jharkhand will be declared independent countries. Lakshdweep will be given to whoever wants it. Andaman will go to USA.
  2. All political leaders named earlier will be given general forgiveness.
  3. All solar power, wind power, hydro power & nuclear powered plants will be shut down. Only coal based plants will be run.
  4. 100% reservation will be given in truck ownership to people with less than 5th standard education.
  5. En block transfer of 100000000 officers will be done except for my wife & other relatives.
  6. Every abandoned rail coach will be declared as homeless shelter notwithstanding cleanliness factor at rail yards.

My party is named as HUM Party (Hum Udaar Maanav Party). You may call us HUMP also.