Tuesday, 24th April, 2018

How to train your PM

11, Nov 2013 By iamgreat

With the 2014 elections round the corner, everyone is busy putting up their candidate list to notch the top job. Here is a chance on what the parliament is looking forward on what the country’s premier has to be.

Nowadays being born in a rich upper class family is just not enough to reach country’s top most job.

People are willing to see more skillfull leaders up there. Well India is relatively new to the concept of democracy, but with changing times you need to change your perspective, no more can you just be the son of ruler to be heir apparent, as apparent in Britain a deadlock on the no. of heir apparents on this front to us.

In this age you need to change and cant follow what was being followed 20 years back, so here is a complete guide if you are willing to look at the top job, then go ahead with  HOW TO TRAIN YOUR PM:

– Are you a silver spoon kid,if yes you still need to play that down in public, start with big words/metaphors if not big speeches, if the country cant understand your words, they would be still discussing it on prime-time with a lot of intellects, so going by the principle of if you cant convince them confuse them (a funda common with many engineering students, but unfortunately none with a silver spoon).

– Be updated(at least with your own products), people might ask you questions, you obviously cant keep going on by saying “Frankly i have no idea, but u would have to ask the Gentleman who came up with the idea”, this sounds too obvious about your GK.

– Be the champion of Secularism(please refer Indian definition, defers from its foreign version), even if you don’t have any opinions about it or don’t know at all what it is about. Just keep quite, meanwhile your party might just put this feather in your cap, just keep quite.

– Make your foreign trips look like you are on official visits, people might get suspicious on you vacationing when the country needs you, always show yourself being busy.

– The country is yours eat where most of the country is helpless to eat. Be an emotional eater, eat when you are upset, travel the most crowded trains giving out autographs, maybe to just show you are one of them. Stopping by ATMs, carrying stones on your shoulders, white kurta sleeves is also recommended but only when the cameras are facing you.

– If you know you ain’t smart, ask your trusted men to show new levels of idiocy (either be it food or sexist comments), just make sure you seem to be the Andho mein kaana raja, helps you a lot.

– Have Dimples, and frankly speaking i don’t why but then cover them with facial hair.

– Have foreign relationships , well, this has been proved lucky for all the men of a particular dynasty.

– Do not marry, pay a small tribute to your party’s symbol.

– And last but not the least, we are a country that respects its MOTHER-LAND utmost, respect your mother in such a way that the whole country respects her thru CBI, and well the land is just for your relatives.

Disclaimer: With recent trends changing fast this article might be applicable for 2014 elections only, for future ones this would be regularly updated. Our last guide on the same had the candidate overloaded with muteness.