Thursday, 26th April, 2018

From Ganapati, with love

18, Sep 2013 By @smirk_ninja

Dear Dad (Aka Shiva)

I’ve been sitting here for 10 days now. It’s hot, Indra is throwing his lightning bolts and rain randomly (like those twitter kids) and its getting humid. Add to that the pollution and mess these kids have made of Mumbai already, and WHAM, you have a “Locality ka Raja” aka me, in misery.

When all this started years ago, it was supposed to be a nice fun get together of people celebrating oneness and family, and praying to have the well being of the community. Today I have no clue what these guys are up to.

For example, just yesterday this family came up to me and offered me a 1000 coconuts in exchange for getting her uncles-brothers-nephew out of jail. First things first, am a GOD and not a prisoner exchange / Gifting / Secret Santa society. Secondly, that nephew of hers was caught for cheating hundreds out of their hard earned money (which he was perfectly guilty of). Thirdly, what am I going to do with a 1000 coconuts?!! Do You Seriously think that I “need” something from you?

Yes I know am supposed to love Laddoos and Modaks. But thats folk lore. I mean you know, like a nice story to add to the mystery and all that. But that doesn’t mean you pile laddoos and Modaks and what not at my feet, when 6 poor kids are begging hardly 10 feet away. I mean guys, why don’t you use some of those brains I gave you, eh?

But this gets better. yesterday night, there were some 100 odd people gathered to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi. There was music and fanfare and lights. It was all fine for the first 5 minutes when they cheered to my favorite Bhajan, before Pitbull, PSY and some Lungi Dance thing came on. But this was still okay because am pretty sure no one even understood what they were saying. Then came “Pinky hai Paison walon ki” and I think I actually had a heart attack. (Must be the first one God’s ever had)

It’s moments like these that I seriously think we’ve got to call the council of God’s and get his sorted out. Hey you got that Tripathi fellow to write a Trilogy and gained instant coolness, while bro has his thing sorted out (and I dare say in much more serious and honest fashion) while am sitting here, in all this paint, watching these guys doing…bah.

Sometimes I see a nice family come together, with kids and all cheering “Ganpati Bappa Moraya” and it makes me so happy. I see this happening in some homes as well. It’s so beautiful. But they are lessening in numbers. Families no longer stay together. Only huge groups of these politicians come and talk about some nonsense. Even the pandits and priests don’t tell our stories & honestly, I don’t even want to come down for these things any more.

And I am just warming up. Today am going to be carried all the way to  some beach, and dumped in the sea. Most of the time, the sea is going to be dirty and polluted. There will be a thousand other “me’s” who’ll all be floating around. I’ll be stripped of all the love and adoration, and people will be happy to see me go, and that their “responsibility” and “duty” will be over.

Tomorrow morning, they will come to take what’s left of me, and other me’s, into a big  truck and disposed of. And this will keep happening every year, and get worse every year. The love and devotion is vanishing dad, I need you to do something about this. Maybe Sarswati Aunty can give these guys some more common sense? Or maybe you can just change the system a bit? Why do I need to get all the tough ones? I take care of everyone’s problems and pains, but why don’t people show me true love and devotion instead of all this Disco dancing?

The worst thing? They’ll forget me for the next 365 days.



PS – Tell Mom I still love the laddoos 😀