Hey Arnab,Aarrnab, Ornob, or is it Door-Knob?
Hope this letter finds you shouting, yelling & sermonizing in the name of ‘fearless’ journalism and scolding your panelists and poodles (‘independent’, ‘reputed’ journalists who must agree with you & help you get out of a tricky & sticky situation where you can’t admonish your subjects in your typical style, if they have to get their pay-cheques released).
There is one thing that THE NATION CAME TO KNOW yesterday- That Arnab Goswami is an empty vessel that only makes LOUD, IRRITATING NOISES all the time. Yeah, I am talking about your cowardly act of making noise on #RILGasScam or #AstonMartinCrash and a total black-out of this most newsy development of our times! You find #USWoosModi newsworthy and worthy enough to open your NOISEHOUR with this lame topic. Taking pity on you, I have conjured up some better `Noisehour’ `shout & scream’ topics.
Arnab, the nation wants to know (am shouting while writing this)-
1. Why no Indian woman has won Miss World/Miss Universe title after Aishwarya/Sushmita? Has India stopped producing HOT women?? 2. Why Delhi continues to feel cold even in mid-February? 3. Impact of cold wave on Valentines Day Celebrations. 4. Financial implications of keeping an empty chair named #AAP in your studio till yesterday & dedicating a camera unit to it. 5. Correlation between the noise generated by you & your panelists and cases of loss of hearing in the country. 6. The meteoric rise of comedian Kapil Sharma and his political leanings given his proximity to Navjot Sidhu. 7. Investigative expose’ on Navjot Singh Sidhu & Archana Puran Singh’s ability to laugh for no rhyme or reason. Is it due to some medical or psychiatric condition?
Hope this will suffice for a full week. Shall share more topics for next week soon. Keep checking your inbox & do take my suggestions seriously b’coz they are way better than your lame ones.
As they say in India’s rural hinterlands, ANT(illa) BHALA, TO SAB BHALA!