Thursday, 17th August, 2017

A recount of the journey of Kejriwal and beyond

17, Jan 2014 By sanjanapal

Like the rising messiah he scoops up from the muck that is Indian politics. a crusader against corruption and chanting merrily ‘lokpal lokpal’ in tunes reminding one of the more glorious days of the doordarshan when people watched it out of choice than the lack of money in pockets or a decent signal strength one day he all of a sudden he clambered to the position of a CM. It was not easy , this ride. One day he was swearing in self righteousness that he will not side with any corrupt party as his jhaadu sweeped across the nation’s votes at second place, and the next he was amicably kissing the palm of the faction he so deteseted. The hand had made the first move however professing unconditional love and support. However it did not appreciate it once he bent down to grudgingly kiss kit with a broom hidden behind his back in his other hand

And a jolly good journey it made to the oath ceremony. To show just how aam the aam admi party is , it made a huge stint to ride in the delhi metro; where tired eyes vie for an empty seat, where plump aunties give you side looks to guilt you into eventually saying “aunty aap bhaith jao” to which they react shocked but then smilingly accept; where tired folk sleep and men pretend to have a siesta sitting on the ladies seat so they are not prodded to get their asses off. And so they made their way to the Ramlila grounds. So what if it caused inconvenience to lots of commuters genuinely wanting to go about their business not being able to afford the perks of a chasuffer driven car by the government; they did get to see thee Nayyak live. Aunties waited in line to wash him with milk, but he gently refused saying I’m cold, dont you see this scarf I tie around my face? Besides with what I’ll do once i take on the CM’s seat, water will come around to becoming so expensive for it will be more valable than milk

Such power was baffling.In celebration he triumphally announced .”My first dictat is free water for all . now you can proudly say water water everywhere, so why not have a drink. Yes the freely running water in your pipes will be a ‘drain’ on the economy. Hey I’m Santa Clause let me worry about the freebies. I see a day when one can proudly tell their children “beta jitna nahaana hai naaho, apne arvind uncle ki sarkar hai “instead of the repatative and mundane “beta paani mat baahaao paison ka aata hai“” he said with a smirk and later coughed. Trademark 🙂 * wink *wink

He indingnantly defied security force. God was his protecter and why shouldn’t he be. After all He made him the CM despite a victory in the BJPs favor. Nevermind to keep the aam aadmi so would then require 10 times more security cover to keep him safe. Being a common man omes at a highly sweaty price

His next job was to look for a house. Trying to keep it non affluent as what they signify is the common man and the common man should stay within his defined means; that’s where his place is! But the 10 bedroom house wasn’t austere enough for the public and the witch hunt for the perfect re.sidence which perfected the definition of not being too extravagant but not being a pauper’s shelter either. Of course the fact that he himself actually dwells in a house twice the size

He still is to fulfill his promise to give 90% reservation in colleges to the uber cool Delhi ite. Hold your tears Pinky, living in Benaras, it was none of your business to aspire to get into India’s top university. Look at the bright side even if you can’t make it into a mathematically negligible 10% of the seats with the 50% reservation for socially outcasts still standing you can go abroad and fill a seat that would have gone to an undeserving White kid. Those university seats are for the casual Delhi ite who parties all night and gives his exam the next day and still manages to find a seat in Delhi University. Yes! How desirable. Or if you’re so insistent we can move to Delhi along with the thousands other students on their way right now to leach off in the capital city. Yes, you can burden the already over populated, polluted Yamuna flowing metrapolitan alright.Ppffttt huh!!!

Look there! There’s a Janata darbar! All of the city’s masses come to the foray forwarding their complaints to the CM himself. Of course this could have been done through district representatives but where’s the fun of colloquial populism in that? Oh, but who would have foreseen a stampede and people losing their documents without their complaints being heeded to? Maybe it was the sly opposing parties up to their mischief. Oh well, let’s start a helpline . that no one will be able to get through after long hours lingering on the phone can be forgiven, no?

Hmm, what’s next he wants to form a national party ! From Karnataka to Bhopal, everyone has lifted their jhadoos in unision . the sale of brooms has shot up across the country shooting up employment. Now that’s something an actual policy wouldn’t do. Oh what’s that USA you want us to sign the non prolifiterian treaty , we say anti corruption! And you China, you want more land? In the contraire we propose a Mandarin version of the lokpal bill. For those of you asking the form of economy? Socialist , Capitalist, leftist, rightest? I say none!! it is the one that says corruption free India!! Labor unions at a strike? Give them what they want, people are surmount! What, Kashmir you want to leave India, yes! We listen to what people want no matter the consequences later. And yes Karnataka, you can have a separate country. In total there will be 63 states, we give the people what they want.

And you said the AAP was naive and inexperienced. Tchh tchh. Gangu bai takes her jhadoo and bows her head in shame.