Saturday, 19th August, 2017

A letter of appreciation, criticism and suggestions to the Award Wapsi people from a well wisher

14, Nov 2015 By satish

Dear Award Returning Writers and Film Artistes,

First of all, let me congratulate you. The Awards that you returned, have inspired the people of Bihar to vote against communal and fascist forces in favor of Nitish Kumar. With Lallu Yadav, that epitome of honesty and integrity as the Kingmaker, we are sure that the ‘Mahaghatbandhan’ won’t end up into a ‘Mahaghatasfot’.

Bihar will once again enter the golden age of peace, prosperity and tolerance that it was during Lallu Raj. The levels of Intolerance in Bihar have already gone down from extreme to low severe. It is expected to go down to mild by the end of the week and normal by the end of the month. ‘Award Wapasi’ has sure resulted in ‘Lallu Wapas.’

However, I am writing this not just to compliment you but to offer some constructive criticisms, especially in the way you returned your awards. Now we all know that Nayantara Sehgal is the first person to return her Sahitya Award. We know her name because she is the first. Now who is the second? Some Vajpeyi…. I am sure it is not Atalji…maybe it’s.. yes I get it, it’s Ashok Vajpeyi.

The award that became popular of late
The award that became popular of late

Now who are the scores of others who returned their awards? We don’t remember their names because they returned them all together, like a gaggle of geese, just as we never remembered their names when they got the awards in the first place.

Now here’s what you could have done. Instead of returning your awards all together, you could have discussed it among yourselves and planned to keep at least a week’s gap among yourselves when returning your award. This would have enabled us to remember your names and each of you would have got the attention you wanted before the next person returned his or her award.

Here’s one more thing that you can still do. If you have multiple awards, do not return them all at once, like a bag of tin cans. This only generates a one time publicity and after that no more awards to return! Here’s what you do – Return one award. When the steam generated by that return, towards your publicity runs out, return the next award, create a fresh steam and so on. That way you will be in the limelight for a longer period of time.

Do not for a moment grieve over your returned awards. Remember, elections are held every five years. When the tolerant and secular parties come to power on 2024 or even 2019 as some say, they will return you the returned awards. You can return them back again when the intolerants and fascists return to power in a future election – of course this time, making sure you follow my above suggestions, and so on.

I must also take this opportunity to thank you for the many positive changes your ‘returns’ have resulted in my life. Before you returned your awards, I hardly knew who your were and my intellectual friends were dropping me right and left. Now I have read at least the the cover pages of some of your books. Recently while commuting to work, I pretended to read one of your books. To impress people around me, I made sure that the title was visible to everyone until some spoil sport pointed out that I was holding the book upside down!

Your films have been therapeutic too. In discovering them, I discovered a cure for my Insomnia. Recently I viewed one on your movies on a DVD borrowed from a friend – I was fast asleep in five minutes. Next day I ‘wikipediaed’ the movie, and discussed it with my intellectual friends, telling them that I have seen it – technically a truth. They were impressed.

Finally, before signing out, one more good news. The ‘Return’ bug that you let loose, has stung the ISIS too. They have announced the return of some western hostages to protest the bombing of their territory.

Best regards,

A Well Wisher.