Sunday, 18th March, 2018

7 Habits of Highly Defective Guys trying to impress a Girl

25, Feb 2013 By kaba

This guide is written for guys, who want a girl, but end up making a fool out of themselves. The tips are all from personal experience and bear no resemblance to the truth or any kind of fiction.

1. Unnecessarily poking girls on Facebook

Now if you are single and want other girls to notice you, poking seems to be the safest bet. You don’t get to say anything and if the girl is interested she will poke you back. Don’t do it. Nobody knows the use of poking, not even Mark Zuckenberg, it’s just a button to piss people off. Stay away from it, it just shows a new level of desperation.

2. Liking random old pics of girls

Now, I know you guys wanna show interest in a girl by liking her long before put display picture, or her all the display pictures in which she is wearing shorts or one piece.  You do it in the hopes that it will make her notice you. It doesn’t,  it puts you in the list of creep people who need to be blocked. It just doesn’t help.

3. Liking all her status updates

Guys, I know the more you like, the more you end up in her notifications which by mathematical calculation increases chance of her noticing you. It’s not going to happen. See, the thing is when a girl is involved, mathematics and probability gets thrown out of the window. And also the fact that there are many many guys like you. Plus liking every status she puts makes you look more like a stalker. And guess what, I know it would be a surprise but nobody dates a stalker.

4. Tagging her in shitty things

Another point to keep in mind is that tagging her in Happy Diwali post or New Year or free iphone posts and picture will not help. It really gets you kicked out of her friend list. Tagging her to these god knows what things just makes her irritated, and an irritated girl is more dangerous than a blood sucking alien. True story.

5. Sending her forwards in whatsapp or BBM

Now if somehow you are lucky enough to get her number, don’t start bombarding her with faaltu forwards. Even if you think that the joke you sent is funny, it might not be. And if her reply is a laughing simile.  Don’t get your hopes high, then it doesn’t mean that she likes you, it just means nothing. And if she doesn’t reply to your 3 continuous message, understand, REALLY UNDERSTAND “you are OUT..!!”.

6. Pestering her with silly compliments

Guys, for her every change of display pic in whatsapp or BBM, you don’t have to compliment her that she looks awesome. She already knows that, that’s why she put that pic. No girl puts a pic in which she even remotely looks bad or at worst average. So don’t go gaga over it.

7. Putting your half naked shots as display picture

Let’s all agree that if you looked like a hunk than you would not be reading this post or won’t be desperate for a girlfriend. So don’t put your half skinny or hairy tummy’s photo as your display pic. It doesn’t make you look sexy, it makes you look “uuuggghhh”. Look up the word on the net and you will know what I am saying. Also look up friendzoned, you are gonna need it.

While not following all the above etiquette’s will any day make you a jerk. Following them will also not help because I have no fucking idea how to get a girl…. In fact guys who have girls are as clueless as guys who don’t…. So its all dark voodoo magic… Happy hunting…!!