Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Woody Allen visits Bollywood to learn the art of movie making without brains

31, Aug 2014 By chantanand

“Look, I am getting old now, and I have realized the whole thing about brain getting better with usage doesn’t seem to entirely true. I have used my brains in all of my creation and you have seen how, except for few insignificant details like impeccable character building, raucous dialogue writing, my movies are all the same.” – blasted woody upon asking the reason behind this India visit!

Still a lot to learn.

“And just look at history, over usage of brain cells have always had catastrophic effect – Michael Jackson, Charlie Chaplin and now, Robin Williams! I don’t want to be another person who changed the world but soon after, left the world. I need to slow down!”, – Woody literally ambushed in his speech.

In his upcoming trip to India, he is scheduled to individually visit and spend days with icons of No-Brains movie makers, including but not limited to — Sajid khan, Rohit Shetty, and Ram Gopal Verma.

“I already love Ram Gopal (he pronounced in english accent) story. Just reading about him how he used his brains in some his initial creations but then, how he gave it all up like Sunny Leone left her past, and decided to lead a happy life instead. I look up to that!” – Woody orgasmed to Ram’s life story

We asked why he did not include Karan Johar in his visiting list of directors, he said “No, his shit is too screwed up and you know what, I can make out, that guy is using all the brains he has got, its quite unfortunate how less is the overall availability”

Faking news also approached Indian film makers expecting them to be thrilled about meeting and spending time with Mr. Woody Allen, but it seems, its not just the movies where they spare applying their brains.

Sajid Khan commented – ” Look, I never really understood the big deal about this woody guy. Most of his movies are about a guy and a girl having some issues. In the end, most of those issues continue to remain unsolved. Its like all of his movies are basically Bollywood romantics but without the happy ending. Audience should be treated like your guests at home, how can you leave them confused and expect them use their own brains, they have paid for this shit!”

“But if he wants professional help, I don’t mind helping another human being on How-to-live-with-yourself-without-applying-brains“, – Sajid continued while faking news reporter vomited on the side

Rohit shetty even had a rare interesting thought about Woody’s trip – “When I got to know he has never used an SUV in any of his movies, I was both disappointed and angry at the same time. I nearly refused to see him, but then he persiste dearly. In fact, he just messaged that he has already placed an order for a Land Cruiser, which by god promise, he will be throwing in space in his upcoming creation! Then, I was like – alrite, alrite, I will have few coffees with you!”

Woody seemed quite excited about his trip. He re-called how The Beatles faced the same issues in the 60s, and a trip to India helped them break the whole band thing all together.

“All that meditation and finding a guru was just PR handling”, he mumbled sheepishly.

Woody left us with his final thoughts:

I am sure I will come back as a learned person who would want to re-visit India whenever my stupid brain bothers me again for attention and application in everyday life.