Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Vadra all set to acquire all footpath land in India, promises to make footpaths Salman proof

16, Jun 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

New Delhi: A full-fledged nuclear war took place between Congress supporters and Bhai fans on Twitter and Facebook yesterday after an alleged controversial statement from Robert Vadra’s office about Salman Khan.

Congress’ in-house damaad Vadra’s office issued a statement yesterday saying that owing to an amendment passed during Congress rule Vadra is all set to acquire all the foot-path land in India. Vadra also promised that post-acquistion he will make sure that the footpaths all over the country will be made more safe, secure and sleep friendly for dwellers. Adding to that, Vadra also cautioned all the errant drivers in the country to now stay away from “his” lands or he will “take care” of them.

Just after this statement was issued, Salman Khans fans apparently also called “bhai fans” got in a complete outrage mode. They started trending hashtag #JawaiKoLagGayiAag on twitter which literally means son-in-law is burning with jealousy. They alleged that Vadra is no longer a superstar of the country because of BJP rule and is now jealous of Sallu bhai’s never-ending stardom. Consequently congress supporters also got strongly outraged and replied back by starting a thread called #BhaiMujhpeCarChadhaDe which means Bhai please run over me with your car, mocking the hit-and-run case where bhai got bail even before the sentence was announced.

Vadra all set to take control of things on roads
Vadra all set to take control of things on roads

After continuously jibing on each other for 4 hours, both parties decided to take a 1 hour lunch break and the twitter-battle was resumed after everyone was back from lunch. It was also agreed that if fighting continued for 2 more hours there would be a 10 minutes tea-break as well. Although few minutes after the lunch break everybody got bored and the fighting completely died down. Just at that time AAP supporters started taking over twitter by storm by trending #ModiResponsibleForAAPFakers.

While Vadra has not issued any comments on the whole fiasco, superstar Salman apparently did not take this war of words very nicely. He too got categorically outraged and posted 47 back-to-back tweets scolding his fans not to post more than 5 tweets at one time, ever. He even threatened to boycott all forms of social-media, bringing lot of his social-media fans on verge of suicide, although he later retracted and bought back his fans from that verge. We have selected below some of the most revered tweets made by Salman yesterday, each of which received exactly 2.8 K re-tweets:

“Chhor raha hu Twitter, done with SM, khallas, khatam. Wanna follow me then hug each other right now.”

“Keep yourself busy yaar, car drive karo, deer hunting pe jao. Itna time kaise hai tum sabke paas?”

“Ask other superstars such as Vadra, RaGa, Katju. Except KRK, they all hate these fan wars. Guarantee aap sabke stars yahi kahenge.”

“If you really have to fight and beat up each other, weekend pe karo yaar, when you have time, but y do you have time?”

“Why do you have time? How can you have so much time? Busy rakho yaar khud ko, don’t you guys roll anything ever?”

“Twitter ko bhi akal nahin hai , mera bachcha aur aapka bachcha dono twitter pe hai, abusive language should be blocked BC.”

“Kya twitter pe ladai jhgada, all virtual stuff, get real guys, get into real fights, level badhao apna.”

“Chalo theek hai, chalta hu, so jao, ya bathroom jao, ya fir late night TV dekho, aur uske baad bathroom jao”

While many of Salman’s fans were taken aback by flurry of motivating and philosophical tweets by Salman, super-star cricketer Virat Kohli apparently has not taken very well to Salman’s repeated calls asking twitter to block swear words and abusive language from tweets. He sharply hit back at Salman without taking any names and posted below tweet:

“I really hate it BC when someone tries to curb my freedom of expression. If that happens, I’m off twitter too MC.”