Tuesday, 21st November, 2017

SRK unhappy with the collections of Chennai Express

20, Aug 2013 By ajotshi

In a shocking revelation by Shahrukh Khan during a popular debate show discussing the barbaric carnage in Cairo,where he was invited as the guest speaker(or he got himself invited) , SRK revealed that he is unhappy with the collections of his latest blockbuster Chennai Express.

In the midst of his bursts of awesomeness and suggesting how his movie could have averted this crisis in Cairo, SRK revealed to the group of befuddled expert speakers how his film should have garnered much more than what it mustered.

Talking over the discussion masterfully(like he is good at), SRK reasoned how with India being a country of over 100 Cr mental-zombies (people who ‘leave their brains at home’ and go to the movies) and his obsessively persuasive promotion strategies, he can amass multiple-100 Crore collections. Snubbing the anchor who was zealously presenting the latest number of deaths in Egypt, SRK also indoctrined how he plans to implement stronger methods of promotion/persuasion to get more of the ‘masses’ to watch his movies . Some of these methods are :

* Running marquee signs on TV the whole day promoting the movie . * Giving away movie pamphlets in hospitals and with prescription medicines . * Spreading rumors of UFO sightings and aliens watching the movie. * Mass Hypnosis. * Releasing scandalous MMS on the internet with the movie’s posters in the room and songs in the background . * Releasing his own MMS if need be . * Getting Arnab Goswami to make frequent references to his movie in his debate shows . * Releasing pictures of Sunny Leone wearing T shirts with the poster of the movie on it .

And last and the most desperate step could be to have the PM Mr Singh ‘speak’ about the movie.

Shahrukh also zealously ridiculed the so-called ‘thinking’ filmmakers who make the so-called ‘thought-provoking’ films and told that he has no-one in his friend circle who enjoys such ‘boring’ films, an eminent friend-circle which consists of people like Karan Johar , Farah Khan, Sajid Khan, Shirish Kunder etc.

According to him the ‘thinking’ audience is a conjured up myth like Osama Bin Laden, created to justify the actions of some illogical people . The debate show ended with the eminent speakers , the bedazzled anchor and SRK dancing to ‘Lungi Dance’ with the video of an army vehicle overrunning people in Cairo in the background.