Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

Single student attempts suicide after learning Alok Nath had "wild girlfriends"

08, Jan 2014 By jubbaonjeans

Bangalore. In a tragic incident, Abhinav Kapoor, a student from a local engineering student attempted to end his life after learning that even Alok Nath, the perennial Babuji, also had wild girlfriends. Luckily for Abhinav, originally from Bihar, he survived the suicide attempt as the rat poison he consumed in a local department store was heavily diluted. Below is an excerpt from the interview he gave to Faking News:

Alok Nath
Babuji ka sanskar

Mr. Kapoor, how are you doing now?

I am doing much better now. I will sue that department store fellow. Can’t believe they don’t even sell good quality rat poison in Bangalore!

Umm.. OK. Can you tell us what led you take such a drastic step?

Hudh hogayi yaar, until last week I was a happy man. Even though 16 girls have rejected me so far, I was confident that one day I will also have a girlfriend. Last week, I was creating Alok Nath memes and making Alok Nath jokes on Facebook and Quora. I even got Savitri to like my status and comment “LOL”. I was on top of the world. 300 people thanked me for my Alok Nath answers on Quora. What more could I have asked for?

Then what happened..

Disaster! That’s what happened. I went into my DBMS lab to store queries on the shared drive so I can copy during Lab internals. At that point, Savitri sent me a DM with a link to an interview of Alok Nath. She said “Looks like Alok Nath also has a girl tera number kab ayega Abhinav? he he.. XOXO”. This was when I decided to end my life.

How do you feel now?

Initially, when I realized I am not dead, the feeling was horrible. But then I checked my FB page and looks like a lot of girls are praying for me. Savitri even had “feeling emotional” status update. I am sure I can make her my girl friend.. I am just not sure if she is my type.

Good luck to you my friend. Hope your lonely streaks ends soon.

Come on bro. I don’t need good luck when I have good looks.