Mumbai: If you are one of those aliens who visit earth rarely and still haven’t seen Bajrangi Bhaijaan; please don’t.
As feared from early reviews, the movie seems to have broken hearts of both Salman Khan fans and haters alike. Our team did an exit survey of people coming out of theaters and got some very harsh comments from the viewers.
One angry fan said, “As per Sallu Bhai’s consistent performances in the past; I had kept my brain at home while coming into the movie. I could survive until the interval, but then I had to go into the next door auditorium to borrow brains from someone who had come there to watch Baahubali. I wonder what people who went to single screen theaters did!”
Another pseudo-intellectual looking person roared, “I had already written 7 blog posts, 3 articles and 40 tweets and saved them as drafts bashing up all Salman Khan movies which will release in the next 5 years. However, if this is the way forward, I am worried that those would never get published and I will never have a chance to sound an intellectual again.”
Another woman while crying said, “Salman has betrayed my trust. I am going to go home and watch the Kejriwal Govt. ads on YouTube for the rest of the day to detox my brain. Nothing else can come close to being as brainless as erstwhile Salman Movies!”
Listening to such harsh reactions and on the suggestion of his PR team and a fellow nautanki actor Ranveer Singh, Salman yesterday released 2.5 hours of unseen footage from his house’s CCTV in theaters. The fans are seeing this as a return of the Original Salman Khan as there are iconic scenes done in a real setting from his erstwhile movies in the footage. Apparently the towel dance was inspired by the way Salman actually cleans his inner thighs after taking a bath every day. Also, every night before sleeping he can be seen doing the legendary act of ‘Pungi Bajana from Hello Brother’ to Sohail Khan.
Giving his reaction, commentator Ravi Shastri said, “In the end, Bollywood is the real winner. The footage has broken all erstwhile box office records and fans are very happy that he is finally once again @BeingSalmanKhan”