Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.
If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely on the basis of the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real. In short, just a good laugh.
Today we have the very crazy, the very innovative and one of a kind Elon Musk.
ED: Hi Elon, welcome to ED. We know you are not real, but it is still an honor to meet you.
Elon: Hi ED. Well, none of us are real. We are merely simulations inside a highly advanced machine and everything around us is a simulation.
ED: Somebody watched the Matrix one too many time. Anyway, what is the latest? What are you working on? A new way to teleport to Mars maybe?
Elon: If I had discovered teleportation to Mars, I wouldn’t exactly be sitting around giving fake interviews now, would I? What I am working on is a portable flamethrower for my latest company “The Boring Company”. I just wanted something to light my stove once in a while, a flamethrower seemed like the most efficient way.
ED: *stares at Elon dumbfounded* So… ahem, moving on. What about the claim that you are subtly trying to prepare people for a Zombie Apocalypse?
Elon: *starts laughing* A zombie apocalypse? Really? Do these people seriously think that they’ll be able to kill zombies with this little stove lighter? PFFFTTT. It’s all a conspiracy. I cannot legally sell the ones that could actually kill Zombies ya know.
ED: Looks like you could get into the weapons business. People have called you the real-life Tony Stark, what do you think?
Elon: I don’t agree at all. I am not Tony Stark, I am better. I mean who messes up his relationship with a woman that guy… I mean whaa *goes off into a deep thought*
ED: There there *hands him a handkerchief* Let’s talk about Hyperloop. It is frankly a brilliant idea. How did you think of it?
Elon: Well, It’s quite an interesting story. Frankly, I was inspired by the Delhi Metro, and so I wanted to build something like that. Minus the Rajiv Chowk crowds, bad smell and faster!
ED: I don’t know whether to feel offended or honored. Speaking of India, any plans that you have for this fair country of ours?
Elon: Ummm, I have a rocket company, a car company, and now a flamethrower company. You guys have a dirt cheap space program, still, drive bullock carts and conserve gas and petrol like it’s the last drop on earth. What can I even do?
ED: Elon, last question. What do you want to say to your critics?
Elon: I sold 50,000 hats just so that I could sell $4 million dollars of flamethrowers under the banner of a company meant for tunnel building. I launch rockets into space and pretty soon to mars too. And I was on Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon. Beat that.
ED: Thanks, Elon! Thanks for fake talking to us and giving us fake happiness. Fake bye bye.
Source: ED Times