Friday, 17th November, 2017

'No-humour pill' invented to stop the birth of stand up comedians

23, Sep 2017 By Roshan Bisoi

Stand up comedians are the newest crop of passion-followers and with them, the art of taking offence on behalf of someone is slowly on the rise. While this often stirs national debates on various media channels, no one really had a way to go to the roots and solve this issue. On the auspicious Mahalaya, 19th September, paramedical researcher Dr Raj Ramakrishnan has developed a new pill that solves the root cause.

According to Dr Raj, the pill will not allow anyone to be a stand-up comedian. Dr Ramakrishnan has been researching this for a long time and as per his new thesis, the pill is supposed to work best with engineers. Dr Raj, a staunch devotee of the cow, has been nominated for the Magsaysay award for taking a stand against the culture of passion-following and FOE.

"Laugh or I'll shoot you", stand up comedians these days
“Laugh or I’ll shoot you”, stand up comedians these days

Our reporter got in touch with Dr Raj, who said, “Puns are taking away all the funs. Someone had to do the dirty job. So, why not me!” He also added that “humour is a modern medicine and we should use our own Ayurvedic treats rather than resort to these”. After this powerful line, our reporter was able to hear the trademark “Vicco Bajradanti tune” in his ears.

Unlike other medicines, the “no-humour” pill was tested on half-drunk audience members abducted from a comedy club. As per the reports, most of them were engineers. After consuming the pill, an audience member who wanted to “try his hand” out in comedy is now focusing on his CAT preparations. The ministry of I&B, as well as various members of the Santh Baba Sangh, were applauding this achievement on Twitter and in prison cells. Upon asking, Dr Raj told his future plans were to make another pill that would make every girl wear ghunghats. He claims this will solve issues like global warming and terrorism instantly.

Science and innovation have always been a niche for Indians and as per UNESCO, this makes us the best people in the world. This message was received by our reporter on WhatsApp. So, it has to be true and your pill knows it.