The famous cruel Mumbai Don, DaVoodoo Ibrahim, sent the whole underground circles and politicians into a state of shock, after declaring that ‘he would be no more a Don’ in a live interview. When asked whether he would write an autobiography, the Don reportedly got angry and left the interview halfway.
Our reporter called the Don and after much waiting, he came into the line. Then, he started talking with a dull voice.
“Yes, I agree that I had decided to end my Don life. It is not because of Gandhigiri or Sanjay Dutt. It is because of the responses that came for the recent Tamil Don movie called Thalaivaa. I went to watch the movie for the sexy heroine in it. I was surprised that the movie was like my whole life relived by some actor in a screen. Even though the director did not acknowledge my name, I was happy that people would appreciate my struggles indirectly. But, when I came out of theatre, I saw certain group of men mocking the movie. I was shocked and approached them. One of them said that the movie is a mix of other Don movies. Other said that the Don looked funny in the movie. I was shocked and depressed. I rose from sidekick to Don in similar ways portrayed in the movie and these useless guys are bashing the rise of Don saying it as mix of inspiration from other movies,” Our reporter could hear the Don sobbing at his end.
After sneezing, the Don continued, “You know how much of stress I was into, in my career as a Don. I even fantasized of writing an autobiography with the title ‘Mein Hoon Don’. But, the readers would accuse me of copying from Hindi movie song ‘Mein Hoon Don’. Once, I killed a police inspector in dhobi ghat. Now, people who read my book would say that it was inspired from a movie Maniratnam made. I had a friend and we were against the collector ten years back. Again, we would be mocked for imitating another Maniratnam movie. I took revenge for the death of my friend Akthar. Again, people who read my book would throw it away saying that I was inspired by the Rajni movie Baasha. Arrey bhai, tell me now, how can I write a book? After seeing the response online for Thalaivaa movie, I have decided to end my Don life. Because, if I try to do anything now, people would update their Facebook status (and get more likes and shares) that I copied that tactic from Scarface or Godfather or any Italian mafia movie, which only those movie producers would have seen apart from our intelligent Indian movie-buffs. To save myself from the title copy-cat Don, I decided to end it all and also not to let out my story. That is why I got irritated when they asked me about my book in that interview.”
Our reporter tried to get in touch with directors of earlier Don movies, but none were available. Director Ram Gopal Sharma, who is scripting a Don movie, answered our call. “See, the audience, they all study from the same subject books for ten years, write whatever that is in the book, imitate western societies and pray gods based on what their ancestors told. They do not do anything creative or original and just blindly follow their tradition. But, we directors alone should not copy any scene or imitate any western movie. We have to be original, while they all ape western society. How can you write a Don movie without any of the scenes that had been shown in previous Don movies? Maybe, we have to take Don Movies where the Don studies in college, dances with heroine and marries her in the end. That would be an AbanDon movie then!”