Sunday, 17th December, 2017

Kung-fu Panda loses 80 Kgs due to excess Kapalbhati on Yoga-Day, gets worried about career

23, Jun 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

Shanghai: Po-the-panda, also popularly known as Kung-Fu Panda or the Dragon warrior was in news again yesterday, but this time for wrong reasons. Po apparently participated in the International Yoga day celebrations in China and did Kapalbhati kriya (Breathing exercises) for 20 hours at stretch. When he was finally done with his Yoga session he had reportedly lost 80 KGs in weight and 40 inches at his waist.

While he is slimmer and fitter now, but he has lost all his chubbiness owing to which he now faces a threat of losing the huge following which he enjoys among his fans and admirers around the world. It is being said that he even posted some of his “Before” and “After” pics on twitter at around 23:15 hours and lost around 17439 followers within next 15 mins. He then quickly deleted those pics, but the damage was done as pics were circulated all around the internet within a matter of few hours.

Po on International Yoga Day
Po on International Yoga Day

“Kungfu Panda’s leaked slim pics” is apparently now the 2nd most searched string of keywords on Google after “Kim Kardashian’s leaked nude pics”.

Po who is the much celebrated master of shaolin Kung Fu and other such martial arts has apparently been trying to lose some kilos since past few months after he started dating a female Panda name Jo. He later talked to BBC and Chinese government TV channel and narrated the whole incident. In dragon warrior’s own words:

“While my girlie Jo is impressed by my Kung Fu, she always insists that I lose some weight and look like that Harvey Spector from Suits, so I was trying some stuff to lose this tummy. But even after trying numerous different exercises, herbal teas, and vibrating belts from telebrands I was not able to lose even a few grams. My hunger was ever growing and so was my tummy.” – Po got a little emotional.

He then went into the telebrands mode and said – “I started to remain tense, I was losing hair … heck I was losing my confidence. To be very frank I had lost my “inner peace” also. But then one day I came to know about the Yoga thing and that it can help weight loss. I started watching youtube videos of a bearded gymnast guy from India who always smiles and occasionally strikes some really uber-sleek Yoga poses. But I was somehow just ended up laughing on those videos and was not learning anything.

Then I came to know that June 21 would be celebrated as International Yoga day, around the world. That was it. I decided it was a D-day for me. That day I did some Kapala baatti thingy for 20 hours at stretch. I put all my inner, outer peace together and solely focused on just doing this Yoga thingy for as long as I could … but it proved pretty costly. I have lost all my weight, my chubbiness, my elegance. Even Shifu failed to recognize me at once. I have now bought a weight gain package called Body-Buildo from Indian tele-brands. The guy in there looks really rough and tough. I wanna be like him now, and perhaps Jo will love me then.” – Po rubbed his moist eyes and gave his characteristic panda smile.

While it is not yet clear that when and how will the Dragon warrior get back in shape, some of the Hindi news channels have already started blowing this news out of proportion. News presentations such as “Sab kuch kho baitha who Panda” (that panda lost everything) and “Panda bechaare, Yoga ke maare” (Poor panda, a Yoga victim) are already gaining high TRPs. Some news presentations also tried to link this whole incident to Po’s minority origins but they were rolled back due to low TRPs within the test-audiences.