Tuesday, 23rd January, 2018

IISc invents a scale – O-Teri! - to measure surprise; Rahul’s new avatar tops the list

29, Nov 2017 By bhasadeswar

Bangaluru. Prof. Adbhut Acharya – a well renowned professor of Indian Institute of Science (IISc.) – has invented a scale to measure surprise caused by any event. The scale has been named as “O-Teri!”.

While the professor declined to share the formula; he shared the sequence of events which inspired him, and more importantly, made him realize that nonscientific events could also be surprising.

He said that he used to live in a utopian world where science had the sole proprietary to throw surprises. He used to get quite pissed off because of his wife’s “O-Teri” exclamations during reading newspaper or conversing with friends and families. He could never decipher the source of such surprises.

However, lately his inquisitive mind questioned this hypothesis when he felt tinge of surprise while reading nonscientific sections of newspaper. He confessed that in the present time politicians and celebrities did possess much more ability to cause surprises.

His wife still remembers the morning of 9th November 2016 very vividly. Professor caught his son – Narendra – purloining a currency note of 1000 Rupees from his jacket’s pocket. When confronted Narendra defended himself by explaining the surgical strike his namesake had done on 1000 and 500 currency notes and how he was trying to help the household by exchanging some old currency. His father being a rational being did not believe initially. When Narendra produced the newspaper in his defense; all the professor could say was “O-Teri”!

The professor accepted that another incident came in quick succession when Donald Trump was elected as president of the US. His wife expressed her gratitude to Narendra Modi and Donald Trump for their contribution in making her husband a true believer and a normal human being. She also talked about the difficulties she faced as being a better-half of an unconventional being. She used to be trolled on Twitter and fake-newsed at Facebook. After these incidents, the professor was convinced that surprise was a democratic expression. However, he wanted to study this in greater detail. Being a scientist he knew the first thing one needed to do to understand something was to quantify it.

He started working on it. After a rigorous research of almost two years; he achieved what he wanted and O-Teri was born. The unit to measure surprise will be O-Teri per Second per Human-being. It’s the measure of compulsion one feel to saying incessant O-Teris after discovering something; however, in reality, because of limitations of rate of speech; human cannot express by saying that many O-Teris per second. The professor agreed that unlike scientific units, geographical location and sociopolitical situation will affect the reading.

Few events which are measured on this scale for illustration purpose:

Demonetization: 1001 O-Teri per Second per Human-being (Kala Re)

Donald Trump elected US president: 499 O-Teri per Second per Human-being (White Supremism)

Kangana Ranaut’s allegations against Hrithik found baseless: 999 O-Teri per Second per Human-being (#FeminismRocks for Female; #FeminismSucks for Male)

Yogi Adityanath declared UP CM: 99 O-Teri per Second per Human-being (Ye to Saala Hona Hi Tha)

Rahul Gandhi new avatar: 1103 O-Teri per Second per Human-being (Kya Pappu sach mein pass ho gaya)