Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Hema Malini to start classes on "How to Get Away with a Road Accident"

10, Jul 2015 By Sarcosaurus

Mumbai. With the media becoming more and more aggressive in reporting road accidents, in the process even risking the wrath of Lalit Modi for not giving him enough prime time; the rich and famous are having panic attacks in taking out their Lamborghinis and Audis for a late night thrill drive after ‘social’ drinking , with the fear that they can be tried by the Indian media circus. In such a situation they seem to have found their saviour in the original dream girl, Hema Malini who herself found herself in a sticky situation recently. Coming out with a unique initiative, she hopes to train people in the art of getting away with a road accident. When asked about the motivation behind this, she replied that as representative of the people, it is her duty to serve the upper crests of society in their deadly pursuits, so that when the time for election comes, there is no dearth of political capital.

Proposed design of the institute
Proposed design of the institute

The idea struck her in solitude while she was traveling through her five-star ambulance to the hospital and she hopes to make the institute operational by the end of the year. Elaborating further, she added that in a time of social media, one can’t afford to entangle oneself in matters of the media and these are left more to the likes of seasoned politicians like Sushma Swaraj and Vasundhara Raje. Through this institute, she aims to make them more social media savvy in the art of deflection. Also, she believes that these will also lead to a drastic reduction in the number of road rage accidents as people will resort to foot in the mouth comments rather than getting involved in physical assaults. Though the location for the institute had still not be finalized due to delays in getting the required land approvals, from the planning committee our reporter got to know that “Scapegoat Development”,”The Art of Bribing”, “Knee Speaking” and ”Shouting on the Newshour” had already been decided as some of the subjects for this course and they were on the lookout for suitable instructors for these.

To attract students at a time when there is no dearth of fake degrees and certificates, the planning committee is trying to rope in Salman Khan to deliver a series of guest lectures on the subject of “Being Human” as they feel that there is no one with more in-depth knowledge on the field and students will get to learn a lot from him in the art of navigating a media and law minefield. When our reporters tried to reach the actor’s representatives, they remained unavailable for comment.

Prospective silver spooned students too are enthusiastic about the idea, when Pappu who had just bought a Gucci watch was asked about his opinion regarding this latest program, he replied enthusiastically that with even IIN failing to deliver sufficient information in this area, he is indebted toward Hema Malini ji for coming up with such a novel idea, as now he can drink irresponsibly and come out of any accident with his reputation intact.