Sunday, 25th March, 2018

Finally Revealed - Why Salman Khan is STILL Single!

13, Aug 2014 By Kishore

A five yearlong study by the Indian matrimony bureau released a 500 page long in-depth research on why Indian’s most eligible bachelor is still a bachelor, despite the looks, wealth, charisma and stature and no to mention millions of willing women worldwide.

Not to be seen in such bridal suit yet
Not to be seen in such bridal suit yet

Here is Faking News’ synopsis of the 20 crore study, 5 yearlong research conducted under the guidance of leading Indian match maker Pandit Sukh Ram (aka The Shaadi Pandit); psychologist Manav Rachna (author of the bestsellers- Indian men are not from mars & What Indian Women Really want); Indian Entertainment Industry leading gossip monger & columnist Taara Singh and host as well as editor of Star Struck , the TV show and Magazine, Mr Karan Juhar.

Here are the 5 reasons Salman Khan is seriously still single:

  1. He is the nation’s BHAI ergo Indian women cannot marry him!
  2. His future wife will need his Ex’s approval as he “still good friends” with most of them and no woman is comfortable with that! Also too much completion for any normal woman with all his alleged just “dostis” with numerous national & international beauties
  3. Despite the rumours at 48 he is still a self-proclaimed “virgin” ergo he has issues or is morbidly shy is real life.
  4. With the time he spends in the gym and on sets working on various movies and his other commitments, according to the data collected from his activities in the last 5 years he would be able to spare 11.5 minutes daily on average to spend with his future wife.
  5. The “Being Human” star, loving son, brother and benevolent mentor tends to contradict himself with running over sleeping homeless people & shooting sweet Bambi like deer! Contradictions galore! No normal woman can handle such extremes.

So the perpetual most eligible bachelor is most likely to maintain his singular status for the unforeseen future.

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