Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Delhi boy enters Guinness Book of Records for zero degree of contacts with girls

02, Mar 2013 By gireesh

Hyderabad: In a startling turn of events, 26 year old Delhi boy, Vipul Verma has entered the Guinness Book of World Records. When Faking News reached his Madhopur flat, a mob had gathered outside to catch a glimpse of this unique world record holder.

Amidst all the cheering , Mr. Verma was gracious to answer a few of our questions.

Faking News: Mr. Vipul Verma, can you please explain to our readers what exactly is your claim to fame?

Vipul Verma: The record is that I am the only Delhi guy without any girlfriends, or friends who are girls, or friend who is a girl but is my rakhi sister, or friends with other Delhi guys who have umpteen girlfriends, or friends with other Delhi guys who have a lot of friends who are girls … You get the hang of it right?

Faking News: Yes sir. Yes sir. That is indeed commendable. But how is that you survived School, College, Holi celebrations, Fresher orientation in company, company parties, birthday parties, onsite treat and all that?

Vipul Verma: That is an interesting question. Aisa hai ki, Jab school mein tha, I was focused on cracking IIT-JEE aur uske peche Bhaaga. Then after joining IIT, I realized, good looking girls are stored only on hard disks or available only over LAN. Phir IIT-KGP se Hyderabad aaya. I joined a software company here and one thing led to another, I am today the proud holder of this record.

Faking News: How is that none of your room mates ever got you introduced to anybody?

Vipul Verma: The point is since I came to Hyderabad, I have been sharing flats with South Indian guys. They seem to not know that , girls have the ability to talk to boys for stuff other than Maths Tuitions. Even now, my flat mate is a Madrasi Subramaniam guy who thinks, if a girl talks to a boy after 6 PM,  she will get pregnant immediately.

Faking News: So what do you plan to do next? Are you planning to start a cult around this?

Vipul Verma: Actaully Ji, this has even caught me unawares. Yesterday I was checking my facebook friends list and did not find even one Pooja or Neha in my list. I feel that I am in the matrix now. I have tried to start hashtags like #ForeverAlone and #SingleTillYouDie on Twitter, but somehow it doesn’t trend. Things like #KaminaFriend trends on twitter, India ka toh Satyanaash ho raha hai.

Faking news: Thanks for your time. It was a pleasure talking to you and we are confident millions of our readers will feel inspired by your story. We wish you long days, short nights and no mobile bills in the future too.

Vipul Verma. Thank you. thank you. Pleasure is all mine.