Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Daya attempts suicide after CID office introduces 'open door' policy

26, May 2015 By Vaibhav Anand

Mumbai: Daya, a man who has been Chief Inspector for over 20 years, reportedly attempted suicide after CID today announced an ‘open door policy’.

Chief Inspector Daya who was accustomed to entering the office or barging into rooms by breaking down a door or two, was reported to have been distraught ever since the announcement was first made.

CID
Daya unhappy with the policy decision

“Daya was unable to recover from the shock that he would never be able to break open doors in our office anymore,” Inspector Abhijeet – Daya’s colleague and apparent confidant – said.

“In fact even our ACP Saheb, ACP Pradyuman, would usually begin the day by shouting out ‘Daya darwaaza tod do’, so he is quite distraught with this new policy as well.”

This Faking News reporter found Daya bear-hugging a discarded wooden door in his hospital room. “I wonder what I will do with my life now,” he said.

Meanwhile Rahul Gandhi raised Daya’s issue in the Parliament. “Why is this ‘suit-boot’ sarkaar is removing red tape from everywhere? In our ten year rule, we closed doors on literally everything.”