Monday, 26th February, 2018

Congress declares Krishh 3 songs unconstitutional as well after opinion polls, Goldman Sachs, Namo speeches

09, Nov 2013 By iamgreat

The Congress led UPA government continued on its spree of declaring things unconstitutional and issuing haphazard diktats by issuing a warning to the makers of Krissh 3. Reports suggest that the warning was issued for having too many weird songs in the movie.

Priyanka Chopra in a still from the melodious song.
Priyanka Chopra in a still from the melodious song.

In a move that harks back to the Indira Gandhi Emergency days, the government issued a stern notification to cinema halls forbidding them from playing the songs. Makers of the movie which has such classics as “God Allah aur Bhagwaan ne banaya ek insaan” and a dance number oddly titled “Raghupati Raghav Raja Raam” termed the reports as speculation, however.

“The songs are preposterously, outlandishly and ridiculously lyricized by what appears to be a ten year old tea stall boy serving the beverage to Rakesh Roshan,” I&B Minister Manish Tewary said in a press release. “It is ridiculous that the movie has already made 200 crores and here at the Centre, we are still operating at zero loss business models, making nothing at all.”

Reports suggested that cinema halls have been asked to either mute the songs when they play or play Rahul Gandhi’s speeches along with visuals of the songs. It appears Kangana Ranaut/ Priyanka Chopra will soon be gyrating to any one of Rahul Gandhi’s masterpieces, ranging from the “mummy” speech to the “bee hive” speech to the “escape velocity” speech.

“We employed five MBA- Control C, Control V- types for writing the script and they managed to copy all the best sequences from English movies,” Rakesh Roshan, the man largely to blame for the assault on everyone’s senses, said. “But after paying these bloody MBAs we had no money left over for hiring decent songwriters.”

“Even if the order comes to pass, you see, my understanding is that both Rahul Gandhi and Krissh 3’s songs are ahead of their time,” Rakesh Roshan said, signaling that he was either OK with the move or had already made too much money from the movie to care. “So the audiences do not appreciate their worth right now. Anyhow you see how twenty years later, people will begin appreciating the artistic beauty of Krissh 3.”