Mumbai: In a unanimous decision, Republic of India elected filmmaker Shirish Kunder as the chairperson of the Public Censor Board (PCB) which is a public censorship and classification body made by the public, for the public, who decides the box office fate every friday.
Speaking to faking news, filmmaker Shirish Kunder said, “It is my duty to promote Hindi cinema throughout the world. Indian public are the heart and soul of our Bollywood films, who in reality, rule the box office and make any road side sleeping individual, a super star or a flop filmmaker”.
He further announced, Public Censor Board has introduced four innovative film classification categories which are:
A : Aamir Category (Films which are A-1 in content and overall Dhamaka)
S : Sunny Leone Category. Also, called Pataka category.
SC : Salman Category (Films without scripts)
X+Y : Family Films Category
Shirish said, “If we don’t introduce our kids to sex education, interact about good or bad touch, show films under parental guidance, then how would they be exposed to this world of science and knowledge? Luckily, so far Science – Medicine is not banned. Who else is going to talk to your child about intercourse? Neighbors, Porn Stars, Relative or Social – Media?”.
“Showing two flowers touching each other, we have made India as the second largest populated country in the world, and we don’t need any censor board to decide the hours of intimacy or kiss needed to satisfy a lady”.
“In an era of Digital India, the public of India should decide the awards basis online voting system and not the corporate honchos who sell these awards to their Bollywood friends by making a business out of it. I boycott all international film awards, since it is just a paid holiday for Bollywood stars. People who have linked their Aadhaar card to the nearest Cinema hall shall be entitled for participating in this poll”.
“Indian public says, ‘We are going to watch picture’. No one really knows when ‘picture’ became synonymous with ‘films’ or ‘movies’ in India. According to the Oxford Dictionary, ‘picture’ means a drawing or painting. You could say ‘I am going out to watch a movie or film’. ‘Rubber’ in India means ‘Eraser’ and not like rest of the world, which means ‘Condom’. Restriction and misleading of words is a defilement to freedom of speech and its damaging Indian image”.
“Still in many forms, the questionnaire mentions ‘Sex’ rather than ‘Gender’. Censor board restricts the word ‘Sex’ in the films but it is freely used in forms of educational institutes as well as many offices. This is such a double standard system. Going by the logic, we should even make different seating arrangements in cinema halls for male, female and other genders”.
“Smoking and drinking scenes are banned from films but why not from society?. Why not shut these factories which make it? Who grants them licenses and why?. Why be sanskari only online and not offline?”.
Shirish also requested multiplexes to introduce, Cutting Chai and Vada Pav during film intervals on public demand. He went a step further by requesting filmmakers to use the words ‘Chumma’ rather than ‘Kiss’, ‘Maa Kasam’ or ‘Aai Shapath’ rather than ‘Mother Promise’ and ‘Box-office’ word to be replaced as ‘Galla’ to make it more desi.
It will be exciting to see how Shirish executes this new role as the chairperson of the public censor board and changes the face of the Indian Cinema.