Sunday, 25th March, 2018

Bullett Raja to be re-released as a mystery movie

03, Dec 2013 By fekufilmi

With Bullett Raja getting such rave reviews from two movie review websites, the makers have decided to make some more money out of it in a novel way.

Bullet Raja 1.5

They will now add five to ten minutes to the movie and it will be India’s first crowd-solved mystery movie. The winners will have a chance to be on the scriptwriting team of Bullett Raja 2.

In a recent interview, Saif Ali Khan, who was packing his bags for his yearly trip with Kareena Kapoor Khan to Switzerland, said to yours truly, Feku Filmi, “I believe that Tigmanshu Dhulia has an excellent product on hand, and we can make a lot more money off it if we dedicate just a little bit more. We will be turning the movie in a mystery, which will not have one but three mysteries.” In the interview, Saif Ali Khan broad lined the three mysteries that Bullett Raja 1.5 will have the audience solve.

1. How did a Bong Beauty decide to marry a UP Ka Gunda, when his best friend is killed in front of her eyes?

Traditionally, women are not meant to think in Bollywood movies, especially when the main character has grey shades. In Bullett Raja, Sonakshi Sinha’s character takes the prize of the ‘Most Naïve Actress’ ever, when she fights with her family to marry Bullett Raja’s character, even after she sees him and his bro-mance friend mow down several innocent and criminals in apna UP.

Speaking on this track, Saif said, “We would have loved to use the ‘aurat-pyaar-what-to-do’ stretch, after all, it has been going on since the sixties, but we are thinking of putting a ‘brain hemorrhage track’ too. Our script writers are working on finding out whether it is possible to have Sonakshi Sinha play a bald character.

Journalistic Integrity Note: During the conversation, my eyes veered towards the Google Keyword Search Tool window that was open on the laptop. The search results forecast for ‘Sonakshi Sinha bald’ had broken the computer screen.

2. Nautch Girl: Origins

Mahie Gill had a blink and miss role in the movie, but apparently, the producers are of the opinion that it was the only thing that remotely entertained the first day first show public, but her presence and absence were a mystery to the paying public. The producers are trying to work out a storyline about how Mahie Gill’s nautch girl character was actually an alien being that is sent by time travelling Martians to seduce Bullett Raja. Apparently, Bullett Raja becoming the President of an important western country is part of the script. Last seen, Saif Ali Khan was busy dialing the number of his Agent Vinod fashion designer.

According to unconfirmed sources, Tigmanshu Dhulia has been closely conversing with the Coen Brothers, Quentin Tarantino and Nolan to bring to India Mahie Gill’s dancer girl character as a superhero/scifi character.

3. Where did the promised climax go?

At a run time of more than 138 minutes, we can be sure that nothing was left in the editing room. This makes us wonder about where the promised climax of Vidyut Jamwal, Saif Ali Khan and Sonakshi Sinha outside an airport went.

Saif confirms that there was indeed something planned like that but clears the air, “The prints for the fights of Jamwal were so explosive that they just burnt up and disappeared into thin air. We do not know where they are. We are thinking on the lines of searching for them on screen, a la Paranormal Activity.”