Friday, 18th August, 2017

Bangalore student murdered for revealing Game of Thrones spoilers

06, Jun 2014 By tarunzeby

A third-year engineering student was found brutally murdered by an unruly mob of his batchmates because he dared to divulge spoilers about the popular HBO TV series “Game of Thrones” to them.

Game of Thrones
Killer TV series.

Superintendent of Police, Mr. Alexander James Murphy (name changed without request), told the reporters that the deceased, Samart A Shole, was drinking chocolate milk (yeah right!) with his fellow hostelites when they started discussing the latest developments in the TV series, Game of Thrones.

The deceased proceeded to download the relevant novel and read it within  45 minutes and started divulging the story line to his friends. His batchmates, reportedly, requested him not to dole out spoilers but under the influence of high amounts of sugar( yeah right! again) he did not pay heed to their dire warnings, after which his batchmates took offence and proceeded to duck his head in the toilet, however, Mr. Shole suffocated and drowned during the proceedings and the matter was brought to the light later in the night.

31 out of 32 hostel-mates of the deceased have been detained by the cops for questioning. The one lucky guy was sleeping after the heavy drinking session.

This incident has led to protests from various sections of the socio-political populace. We spoke to all a few of them:

  • Karela Kranti Party: We are sitting on dharna in front of the Information and Broadcasting Ministry to ban the telecast of these foreign serials in India. (They kept on shouting slogans till someone told them that students watch these serials online, at which point they went home.
  • Vella Engineering Students of  The Youth (VESTY): The deceased spoiled the only hobby of a multitude of students. Now that we know the plot twists, the time that we passed watching the Series will have to be diverted to other tiring pursuits.
  • Bhartiya Chetna Morcha for Children(BCMC): We should ban the torrent download of foreign TV serials and films because it renders our Sensor Board useless.
  • Professor of the deceased: This incident would never have happened if we allowed ragging in hostels. No one drowned in a toilet in my 32 years of teaching because students had ample practice.
  • Sister of the Deceased(name withheld because, who cares!):  This was bound to happen. Samart was always acting too smart. He told me that Dumbledore was going to die just as we entered the hall to watch Harry Potter 5.
  • Batchmate of the deceased: He was always doing this to us. He could read really fast and would often read thriller novels and when he saw anyone else reading it, he would come, whisper the twist in our ears and run away.

Noted psychologist Mr. Pokmynose of the Peking Omnipresent Order of Psychology(POOP) commented that this behavior is similar to young children playing with their genitals, which might be natural and healthy, but should be discouraged in public. He also went on to boast that not a single similar case has been reported in his home country because, ………..[Censored in Public Interest].