Reports are just coming in of many people being admitted to AIIMS in a state of trauma after watching the latest MDH Masala advertisement that shows the grand old man of MDH on a ship. Many have complained of difficulty in vision and some are said to be delusional. The condition of those who watched the ad in full is said to be critical. “We have started giving shock treatment to the patients. Long exposure to the advertisement has made them insane. We are trying our best but fear that there might be permanent damage to their brains. Those who broke their TV sets or chewed their fingers midway the ad have a better chance of survival”, read the press bulletin issued by AIIMS.
Similar incidents are being reported from various parts of the country.
Raju Rangeela, who runs a chai shop in Jhumri Talaiya, started vomiting vigorously after watching the advertisement. He was seen tearing his cloths and shouting “Je budhha hamar peecha na chhodi!!!!” He was immediately rushed to the trauma center of a nearby hospital where his condition is said to be unstable but uncritical. “Bhaiya humka bachaye leb, je buddhau se humka bachaye leb!!!!” – his helpless cries were audible outside the trauma center.
Another victim of the advertisement, Bose D. K., recounted his horror with the Faking News reporter – “The other day, I watched Bhoot and Ragini MMS 2 and had a good laugh. Just after that, I accidentally watched this ad and was not able to sleep after that. Now, I see this old man everywhere. Sometimes, he is lying with me in my bathtub, sometimes sitting in the kitchen sink smiling at me, and sometimes staring at me from my bedroom window. When I lie on the bed, I see him showering MDH Masala packets on me from up above.”
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has launched a new “Ban MDH Ads” campaign. “We always make hue and cry over animal rights. But this is matter of such grave concern that we have decided to consider humans too. People’s sanity is at stake here, we just cannot allow MDH to play with peoples’ lives. Also, as per Aristotle, man is a social ANIMAL, hence the matter falls in the purview of our operations”, claimed PETA spokesperson Phoren Fundu Lal. “Consequently, we are also changing our name to PETHA (People for the Ethical PreviewTreatment of Humans and Animals) which we believe will connect with the masses more”.
Among demands of banning the ad film and sending the old man to Mars for ever, Central Board of Film Certification, taking an unprecedented step has finalized the ad film to be India’s entry to Oscars. “Masterpiece!!! The storyline is fantastic, the script is flawless and the performances are mind blowing. The characters have been created beautifully – the captain of the ship, the female attendant and the old man himself. Look at their fine dialog delivery. After Mughal-E-Azam, this is the second time I’m witnessing such fine cinematography in India’s cinema history”, told a
visibly excited CBFC president Karam Johar. KJo also requested all the awards to auto-nominate the old man in the category of Best Actor (Male). “I’m a huge fan. Dadu is such a turn on”, KJo said with a wink of the eye.
Meanwhile, a company has launched special goggles that will only block MDH masala ads while watching TV. Explaining the technology behind the goggles, Mr. Achuta Nandan said that they are using special facial recognition algorithms that will recognize the old man in every possible pagdi and immediately turn on the blocking filter. “Enough is enough! MDH should stop showing us the same old man again and again. This country needs a break from him and our goggles guarantee 100% blockage”.