Saturday, 25th November, 2017

Arnab Goswami's idea of a romantic evening with his wife

23, Jul 2013 By sharathraghavan

All resemblances to known characters are completely intentional. Unspoken thoughts are in {}

ARNAB (feeling in the mood for some good old fashioned who’s your daddy ?? ): ARE YOU FEELING A LITTLE LONESOME TONIGHT DARLING !!!!

Mrs Arnab (with both index fingers firmly plugged into her ears): Not tonight darling , I have a headache {from your constant screeching you psycho}

ARNAB (raising left eyebrow while giving her the evil eye with the right eye): ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU ARE NOT FEELING LONESOME TONIGHT

Mrs Arnab: Thats exactly what I said {Will you please stop yelling ?? I really should have married that deaf mute security guard in college}

ARNAB (foaming at the mouth now): ARE YOU SAYING … ARE YOU SAYING …. ARE YOU SAYING …. THAT YOU ARE NOT FEELING LONESOME TONIGHT ??? I AM ASKING YOU ONE MORE TIME MRS ARNAB ….. ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU ARE NOT FEELING LONESOME TONIGHT ??????

Mrs Arnab {Hey Bhagwan , mujhe is din dikhane sey pehle uttan kyun nahi liya ? ): That is exactly what I have been saying for the last 20 minutes you madman. Why are you repeating what I am saying, back to me at a 120 Decibels ??

ARNAB (By now in an apoplectic frenzy): I DEMAND AN ANSWER … I WANT TO KNOW , THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW , THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW. …. , WE ALL WANT TO KNOW.

Mrs Arnab:  There is no one here you madman. You are at home, this isn’t your stupid show and I am not one of your panelists, I am your wife

ARNAB: IN THE STUDIO, OUR PANEL OF EXPERTS (MEN WHOSE WIVES MYSTERIOUSLY DEVELOP HEADACHES EVERY TIME THEY LAND IN THE SAME PINCODE AS THEMSELVES) , WILL NOW DISCUSS WHY MRS ARNAB IS NOT IN THE MOOD TONIGHT. I WILL SCREECH AND SPLUTTER AT EACH ONE OF THEM PERSONALLY UNTIL THEY ARE REDUCED TO WET QUIVERING WRECKS. THIS SHOW IS SPONSORED BY POPPY UMBRELLAS – YOUR ONLY PROTECTION AGAINST TV ANCHORS WHO SPLUTTER LIKE A WET FIRECRACKER.