In a shocking revelation made by a well known bollywood director to a faking news page 3 journalist during a bollywood party in a suburban five star hotel, Kareena Kapoor was caught red handed having antidepressant pills in her vanity van during the shoot of a very (in)famous celebrity talk show. The director who also is the host of the show requested anonymity, hence we can’t reveal his identity except for confirming the fact that he is certainly not Ramgopal Varma.
“I have always known Kareena as a fun loving girl, and if she is on these type of medications, it’s certainly something serious, that rules out possibility of any tussle with Saif”, the director told after having 3 glasses of Jacob’s Creek and half kg of cheese during the party. Incidentally, Saif Ali Khan was also present in the party, but refused to comment saying “Wow” and left in slow motion.
Though Arvind Kejriwal suspected that Congress is behind this and Arnab Goswami has grilled Sanjay Jha on this during last night’s Newshour, reports have now come in that the real reason of Kareena’s depression is Himesh Reshammiya who also attained a size zero figure for his upcoming movie. “I’m the Queen of a large dynasty, and size zero is my legacy. If Katrina had gone size zero, I would have been happy as she is family, but all the work that I had done to tag sexy and attractive to size zero will be defamed now”, said a clearly distressed Kareena Kapoor Khan while purchasing lehenga for Ranbir’s wedding.
This observation has not gone too well with industry, as the actress has not got any copyright on the term as of date, and her claims can’t be justified. When asked about how is he trying to mend his wife’s state, Saif said, “Wow” and left in slow motion. Himesh Reshammiya, on the other hand, is not willing to show any empathy towards Kareena in this. “Oooo Huzoor, this is a free country, and I’ve worked really hard to come in shape. Due to someone feeling offended, I will not put on weight again as that will demand a change in script which I won’t considering I’m a method actor.”
With other method actors like Upen Patel & Tusshar Kapoor coming out to endorse Himesh on this, his case seems pretty strong. While we couldn’t read much out of Upen’s face it being majorly of plastic, Tusshar even suggested Himesh to show his butt like he did in a hit sex comedy last year. “That’s how I get all the hot chicks”, he claimed.
We tried contacting Shahid Kapoor also, but owing to winter breaks from school, he has gone to his grandparents’ place, so we couldn’t reach him. Last night after the news broke out, Alok Nath complained of chest pain and was admitted in Nanavati, his condition is stable now. “Kareena meri beti hai, aur wo..”, he broke down and our reporter was kicked out of the hospital(not because Alok Nath was upset, but because the reporter showed him a whatsapp Alok Nath joke to cheer him up).
This incident has taken the nation through storm and young actresses are no longer practising power yoga as noboby wants to be compared to Himesh. Meanwhile, Rahul Gandhi has tweeted “@kareenakapoor_ Stay safe and be brave. And remember, Congress party ek soch hai.”