Mumbai: It was supposed to be just another depressing day in the life of Software Engineer Pareshan Appraisalse, but he feared it could turn gloomier since his employer, TCS (Topmost Consulting Services), were supposed to declare the Quarterly results that day. He knew that like every other year, he was going to have to follow the same routine – 1. Take a peek at the results. 2. Try to comprehend what they meant for him. 3. Fail to understand a word. 4. Overhear his colleagues discussing how bad the results were. 5. Start lecturing his group that the results were very bad by adding some jargon like, “Yaar Revenue badha hai, par Margin kam tha iss baar isiliye jyada hike expect mat karna!”
Little did he know what he was about to face. Minutes after the IT behemoth declared its results, there was an unprecedented wave of excitement amongst his colleagues. The only thing that he could gather was that there was some sort of bonus declared for the employees!
Without knowing whether it was true or not, he started spreading the message through Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, WeChat, Hike to his fellow TCSers and family & friends. He went to an extent of posing with a wad of Monopoly notes and uploaded it on Instagram with a caption “#hike #bonus #jaimaalakshmi #I<3TCS #bestdayeever #weekendparty”. The news started spreading like wildfire. People started vacating their desks and started heading out to the cafeteria for celebrations. Some, who were on calls with their clients, were heard lying, “We have an emergency fire drill here and have been asked to evacuate the building, immediately! *disconnects* So long, sucker!” and high-fiving their teammates. The uproar started subsiding the moment two ambulances entered the campus. People were shocked to see that upon hearing the news of bonus, several employees suffered heart palpitations and many were facing difficulties while breathing. Two were declared dead after succumbing to a massive cardiac arrest. The bereaved teammates were heard moaning, “Arre abhi kal toh D band ke gham mein mere saath pine baitha tha, ab achanak se bonus declare karoge toh sadma toh lagega hi na!”
Another colleague retorted, “Appraisal ka, weekend on-call support ka, D band ka sabka badla lega re tera Phaijal!”
Amid all this, Pareshan was still busy answering calls from his family, who were keen on congratulating him, and friends, who were keen on getting a party from him.
Sure enough, after all the hype created by himself, Pareshan ended up spending Rs. 15,000 on parties and gifts for family, only to realise two days later, that the bonus amount was equivalent to one week of salary for every year that he had been with TCS – which in his case turned out to be Rs. 6,500.