Thursday, 23rd November, 2017

Tortured by "intellect supplements" during her pregnancy, woman files lawsuit against “Warren Buffett”

01, Aug 2013 By deliberatelies

In the first such case, a frustrated pregnant woman named Varsha (Name changed, after requested by the victim) has filed a lawsuit against Warren Buffett.  She was reportedly annoyed by a series of intellectual torture perpetrated by her husband during her pregnancy. Our investigation team who is working on this matter has revealed that she was forced by her husband to listen to all the inspirational CDs (related to Warren Buffett) and to read numerous non-fiction books on Buffett.

Varsha, who is 7 and half month pregnant(her first baby) and is on maternity leave currently, works at TCS as software engineer. Her husband, Varun works in an IT captive unit of Morgan Stanley as software developer.

Her husband, Varun, is a big fan of great devotee of warren buffett and his investment ideas. He has never missed to buy a single book or CD which is even distantly related to Warren Buffet. Though he never had a formal education in finance or capital market but he finds himself very comfortable with Buffet’s  investment fundas.

” I don’t know why i’m mad after Buffett’s philosophy but while reading or listening to his ideas, i find as if i am taking a holy dip in a river, imbued with financial spirituality. ” Varun’s classical response when someone asks him about his unusual habits.

Whenever someone asks him whether he has ever tried to use those high voltage ideas in the real-life, he says ”Honestly speaking, i don’t know how to apply those ideas in real life. I did try to make use of those ideas but when i started losing money, i simply gave in and sold all stocks that i had bought at loss. Long term investment does not seem to be my forte(which Buffett asks us to do). But i never lost the interest in reading and listening to those ideas. Afterall, Isn’t it a status symbol if you read or listen to those ideas. People would give high regard to you if somehow you are caught with those materials about Buffett. ”

He tried to inculcate the same habit in his techie wife during her pregnancy period so that his new-born baby may get positively affected by Buffett’s ideas. Varsha was asked by her husband to stay calm and take rest for the next one and half month . She was merely asked to finish 20 CDs and 30 books in next 1 and half month (until her delivery) as an “intellect supplements” .

When our correspondent, Suresh Ghochu contacted Varsha, She told him about her ordeal(which she went through) in detail “Initially i liked my husband’s idea and was so excited about it but when i started doing it, all these abstruse Buffett’s fundas went above my head. If this is my husband’s version of “taking a rest” and then how would the “torture” be like? I was like, God! Am I delivering a child or delivering some “software code” using some alien looking language called ‘Warren Buffett’. “

“In one of such book, i read somewhere the phrase “Oracle of Omaha”, which made me believe that it might be a new version of Oracle database (may be some upgraded version of Oracle 9i). This rekindled my lost interest. But unfortunately it was a short-lived affair as i soon came to know that it was this guy’s (Buffett’s)  nick name, not a new version of Oracle.” Varsha said unbelievably.

“I found this guy(Buffett) very disgusting. I heard him saying once that derivatives (which means “Children”,  in “US immigration” parlance) are the weapons of mass destruction.  I am surprised why no human rights group raised any concern on his anti-child statement before. With such a anti-child mindset, how in the world is he reckoned among the richest person on the earth. May God help us all!” Varsha bemoaned.

When our correspondent advised her, instead of filing a case against a dignified figure like Warren buffett she should better file a harassment case against her own  husband, she said promptly “I don’t think it is my husband’s fault. Warren Buffett is the root cause of the whole problem. This man only has misled and brainwashed my husband. He was never like that he became like this only after reading and listening to his hopelessly enigmatic fundas. Instead of getting positively affected by Buffett’s fundas, i am now afraid my child may born with a confused mindset (this is what i feel i have started to become after listening to all these fundas). Better i pick some book on Java or DotNet during my pregnancy period. This way, at least i would be able to talk to my child for the next one and half month in my preferred language.”