Tuesday, 24th April, 2018

The nation is unwilling to buy anything that Big B doesn’t endorse

29, Jul 2014 By yesakki

In a shocking revelation, in a nation-wide survey across 3 cities in gangetic plain area, the nation had said in unison that they buy a product only if it has endorsement from Big B.

“Just buy it”

“Ass a part of aver istandard methad of aajking irrelevant kostins, this time we did is ki.. we askad whether houjeholds buys prodacts that eej not endorsed by Mr Big B sirji… big fan myself…” said Mr Kapoor, who is a highly qualified Sr IAS officer heading the survey initiative.

“Sahab is the epitome of knowledge. He tells us what to do.. if he doesn’t ask us to buy something, then there is something wrong in it.. so we dont buy them,” said a farmer.

But somehow they still have almost all product categories, from tooth paste to television; banians to women hygiene products purchased! Seems like Big B has endorsed several local players as well; such as ‘Thooklal’ pan shop near Kanpur bus stand sewage drain, ‘Khiladi’ aphrodisiac medicine range and ‘babitha Bhabhi’ educational comics.

“It is all about his credibility as someone who won’t sell out and means what he endorses,” said the agency that manages Mr B’s endorsement. Hearing this Oxford dictionary changed the meaning of “sell out”. “It makes pure marketing sense. We can show big big ppts, go on team lunch and offsite games but no matter what the product or requirement is, we will choose Big B,” said Mr Rahul B.E., M.B.A. 1 yr experience, Head of Marketing of ABC agency, who also added he is single & looking for a change.

Meanwhile, the government is scrapping all certification units like agmark, isi etc and just go by what Big B says. It is also mulling on felicitating him with Bharat Ratna for shepherding the public on what to buy.